Hellllloooooo???

I'm back!  It has been the craziest 3 weeks, let me tell you!  I won't bore you with all of the details, but let me just say, I have not felt that kind of stress in a looonnng time!  But alas, we are here in beautiful Spokane Valley Washington and we are about 60% moved into our house!  I usually get all jacked up on Diet Coke and unpack for like 48 straight hours.  I usually have all of my pictures hung, closets organized, decorations placed, and all of my furniture in place no more than a week after we are moved in.  This time...things are a bit different.  I have a baby who makes crazy messes everywhere she goes.  Bless her heart, she is a needy baby and likes to be joined at my hip if her eyes are open!  So it has been a lot harder getting things done.  Also, I told my husband that if he was going to ask me to move our family twice across 3 states in less than 7 months, the least he could do was buy me some new stuff once we got here!  So, I am patiently waiting to decorate until I am able to buy some new fun pieces.

So, with all of that going on I was not a very good girl.  I did a lot of stress eating, a lot of fast food over the two days we were traveling here.  A lot of continental breakfast food while we lived in a hotel, and a lot of pizza the first few nights we were in our house and didn't have our kitchen un-packed.  However.  The SECOND we were unpacked in the kitchen, I got back under control, and I had a perfect week last week!  I have not weighed myself however.  I always like to give myself a few weeks to get back on track and loose the pounds I inevitably gained during my bender so that I don't panic and throw my scale against a wall!

The other reason is this; I am trying really hard to change my thought process about this journey.  I am reading an amazing book that an old roommate of mine suggested to me after she read my blog.  It is called "Remembering Wholeness".  There is no way I could begin to tell you about this book on this blog.  It is really life changing and I suggest you all read it.  She is very religious and uses scripture and spirituality to support her theories.  What I am getting from this is that I must take the victim mentality I have lived in my entire adult life and throw it away.  I must change my thoughts from what I don't want, to what I do want.  I must trade in negativity for positivity.  Take those things in your life that have triggered you and throw them out!  The scale can be a great way to feel rewarded.  But I have used it as a way to punish myself.  I seriously used to weigh every single day.  And if i was up even an ounce, I would punish myself, cry, throw a fit, and then feel completely defeated the rest of the day.  But it didn't stop there.  If I hadn't lost enough, I had the same reaction.  I was only satisfied if I lost a significant amount in the last 24 hours.  It was crazy abusive and I am over it!

I am learning so much from this book and I am so excited to learn as much as I can from it and see my life change!  I am excited to be back on the ole blog.  I see that my efforts to start a contest kind of flopped.  It's ok.  I still feel strongly about the reasons I do this.  And in the last few weeks a few of my readers have reached out to me and I can't even tell you how fulfilling it is to know I was able to help someone feel less alone.  I may not know all of you, but I love you.  That may seem strange.  But when I write these posts.  I feel inspired.  Sometimes, I write things I didn't intend to write.  I hope my words reach the person they need to reach (besides me!) and that you feel my love through my words.  I feel like those of us who struggle with these issues need to band together.  We are a family!  I really feel that way.  Women can help heal each other, it's in our nature!

So, take my advice, read the book, carry on, and have a blessed day!

{A}