Feb 4, 2011

 "God made you imperfect so that you would depend on Him. He did not make a mistake in allowing you to be created as you are. You are created in His image and with His divine traits. I wish that you could feel that. Some things can't change. Some things you can. And some things are just not that important."

Someone anonymously posted this on my last entry.  I loved it so much I had to share it.  This is a topic I have struggled with my WHOLE life.  I remember KNOWING I was different by age 9.  I look back in journals that I wrote as a child and I am heartbroken.  How could such a young person have such self hatred.  I know I am a daughter of God.  I have been taught that my entire life.  But somehow it has never saved me from self sabotage. 

I had an ironic moment at a gas station the other day.  I was standing in line to pay and the young man in front of me was buying a HUGE energy drink and a pack of cigarettes.  He was no more than 20 years old and he already had a scratchy smokers voice and he smelled so bad of cigarettes.  In my head I was thinking, what causes people to abuse their bodies in such a destructive way?  At that very moment, I looked at myself and remembered, I was standing in line to pay for two diet sodas and gummy worms to take to a play date for me and my friend.  Is diet soda and sugar any better for me?  Hmmmm....lightning moment.  The whole rest of my day I was wondering about this.  Why oh why do we choose abusive behavior when we KNOW it is bad for us?  What is it in us that makes us so disrespectful of the body God gave to us? 

Then, this morning I log on to write about this topic, and some one left that about serendipity!  A direct answer to my query.  We do it because we do not fully understand our divine nature as TRUE and LITERAL sons and daughters of God. We are unwilling to turn our lives fully over to God because we lack the understanding of His power.  I don't have the answer for this.  I have sought it out my whole life.  I do know this.  In order for us to gain a firm grasp on who we are, we must first know who He is. 

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