I KNOW I am not the only woman on the planet who feels this way. I also know these feelings aren't exclusive to being pregnant...but...with that being said, I feel like I am loosing my ever loving MIND. I have this strong STRONG urge to eat, and to eat everything in sight. I have always struggled with an addiction to food and I have always had an unhealthy relationship with food, but this pregnancy is bringing out a side of this addiction I have never dealt with before. I feel like I am constantly battling within myself day in and day out. I know that not too long ago I had the lifestyle I have wanted my whole life. I wore a size 6-8, I worked out 4-5 days a week, I had control over what I ate and had a healthy understanding of what my body needed. I was fit, happy, and healthy. I have said this in an earlier post, but as soon as I knew I was pregnant, something just flipped in my head. It is almost like that fit healthy happy girl was an impostor and this food crazed, fat, tired, angry person I am now is the real me and I had been locked away in some basement and I have finally escaped. I worry that this is the real me. I worry that I will never again have the control I had not too long ago. I am soooo sick of hearing,"give yourself a break, you are pregnant". NOOO giving myself "a break" is exactly how I get myself into messes like this. I find, the only way I am ever, EVER the least bit healthy, is by treating myself to a Nazi dose of control. I am so nervous to go to my OB appointment in two weeks and have her lecture me on how fat I am getting. Do you think it is possible to loose weight during your second trimester?? I doubt it! Well, either way, I am determined for the next two weeks to work on myself. Lots and LOTS of prayer. Lots of self repair and lots of counting calories. I am hoping that I can find a comfortable way to sleep so I can get some rest during the night and feel good enough to work out again. I really do miss that girl...even if she was an impostor. At least she kept the crazy me quiet, and I would LOVE to have her back.