I do this really, for myself. I don't know who is reading this. I don't know if it has ever helped anyone. I have no idea if people think I am nuts. But I do know this...I miss doing it. I have let my life get me down. I have given up lately. Resigned to the sadness of loosing so much. I was on a walk tonight and realized just how much of myself I have lost. There is so much missing from my life right now, and not because we moved away from everyone and everthing, and not because I have gained all of my weight back, but because I have let it go. I used every excuse in the book to justify flushing myself down the drain. Yes, depression can be so binding and some days I have felt like no matter what, I was never going to be myself again, never be fully happy again. I have wondered if my lot in life is to always feel like I am half of the person I know I have the potential to be. See, I have tasted it. I know my potential. I have seen the light...briefly...very briefly. And just when I thought I had it all figured out, the rug was pulled out from under me. I lost my footing and began the downward spiral that has been the last 2 years of my life. Today, as I had others in my life struggle with real problems, I realized something. I have the power. It is in me. I can overcome. And not just overcome and survive but I can thrive. I can become that woman who, in my mind has been sitting on a really high shelf unreachable...unattainable. I love this song becuase it really speaks to me. I am a rough and tough! I have been through things most people will never ever go through...and I have been through a lot of those kinds of things. I have punched through walls, fallen flat on my face, lost it all, and somehow, I am still here. I may have lost my fight for a while. I kind of got tired of fighting. I let the battle beat me...really, really beat me. But, nothin's gonna knock this girl down...for long! I know it sounds corny to be so inspired by a pop song, but when you are out sweating and really working your muscles and this comes piping through your earbuds, you can't help but feel a bit lighter, a bit stronger, a bit more...I dunno...bad ass??!?!?! Am I right? So anyway, here I am, once again spilling my guts on the world wide web. Things are going to get better. I just know it!