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Mar 15, 2010

Birthday Cake

http://www.sweetums.com.au/images/pageimages/birthday-cakes1.jpgSo Anyone know how to attend a birthday party and not feel left out of the face stuffing? Man, the one I went to tonight had oreos, and the most amazing cake I have ever tasted. And by tasted, I MEAN tasted...that is all....I just tasted it...one...single....solitary bite. As proud as I am of myself, I felt so left out, and stupid. Normally, I would have come up with some lame excuse in my head of why I was entitled to that giant piece of cake that I wanted to shove in my face...but tonight, I just took a bite...one....little....measly bite, and instead of feeling empowered, I felt angry. I will admit, after we got in the car, and the cake was out of sight, it was out of mind, and I was proud of myself...but if anyone has any thoughts on how to enjoy the party without enjoying the spoils, I would love to hear it!

I think one of my main issues to overcome is the fact that others who are enjoying their cakes and their size 2 pants make me feel really ripped off. I can honestly say, HONESTLY, that I have never, ever enjoyed a desert without some tinge of guilt. And I have never, ever sat in a room with skinny people who were enjoying their food and not been pissed about it. I realized tonight, that I need to stop being angry for genetics, and circumstances, and whatever else plays a role in the fact that I will never, ever be able to eat whatever I want and NOT pay any consequences. So, a new leg of my journey has begun, and a new goal has been set...April, you must learn how to enjoy yourself, and not care about what others are eating...GET OVER IT!

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