ZUMBA!!!

 

So today, after the hopelessness of last night, I woke up, got myself back on the 5 & 1 plan, and drug my funky butt to a Zumba class at my gym.  I was super nervous about being the new girl in a class.  To my surprise, I did well, enjoyed the heck out of it, and sweated my ace off!  This was so much fun, and a fantastic work out!! 
 

I got back on the plan today, I feel like crap and am detoxing hard core! I am proud to say that I stayed on plan 100% today!  I even went out to dinner tonight and stayed on plan! Baby steps right?!?!?  I stepped on the scale today and I have only put on 5 pounds.  I was truly expecting more.  So here is the new goal.  Loose the 5 I gained over the holidays, and then loose 5 more.  I think with the new Zumba class and my new found commitment to the plan, this should be a breeze!! 

With that being said, I am off to make myself some amazing soft serve! Good night, and good luck!

Relapse

 

I started this blog as a way to journal, vent, and be brutally, painfully honest not only with myself, but with those of you who may be reading it. So as hard as this post is for me to write, and for as long as I have been avoiding writing it, I must. 

 I have been in a state of denial for the last two months.  I have slipped back in that frame of mind where I forget what I have eaten or I justify what I have eaten.  One of my biggest struggles has always been holidays and social events.  If I have one bite, I can't stop myself, I have 100.  It all started at Thanksgiving.  I started feeling depressed about my miscarriage and I felt like I was justified in eating whatever I wanted when I felt depressed.  And, before I knew it, I was in relapse. This last few days I have decided to be honest with myself.  It has been tough.  I still can't bring myself to get on the scale.  I just am not sure I can deal with the consequences just yet.  The thought of seeing my sins on the scale makes me feel a bit ill.  

I had one of my favorite clients in the other day. I have blogged about her before.  I have done her hair for almost 6 years and just about every time I do her hair we talk about diet, weight, food, clothes, etc.  We relate on so many levels in the diet and weight loss arena.  I feel like we are kindred spirits.  Typically our conversations are pretty light-hearted, with a bit of seriousness here and there.  But this time was different. Both of us were not in the best of moods and our conversation quickly became about addiction.  I know I have an addiction, I have been pretty aware of that.  However, I don't want to be treated like an addict, and for some reason I have decided that the same rules do not apply to me.  

I found this definition online and I felt my face get hot.

 

The state of being addicted; devotion; inclination; A habit or practice that damages, jeopardizes or shortens one's life but when ceased causes trauma; A pathological relationship to mood altering experience that has life damaging consequences

The phrase, damages, jeopardizes, or shortens ones life.  WOW, that is tough to hear.  I have let my food addiction damage my life and the lives of those around me for far too long.  This last two months in particular.  The other part of that definition that struck a chord with me was, A pathological relationship to mood altering experiences.  Food does that for me...for a moment.  I feel good when I am eating.  But the second I swallow, the shame sets in.  Once the shame sets in, watch out.  The people around me are the ones who pay for it. I hunt for food the same way a junkie searches for a hit.  I think because I have had the chance to recently be lifted out of the fog, I was able to catch myself a lot quicker this time.  I have tasted what healthy is like.  I know what it feels like to have control and feel victory. So WHY do I sabotage?  I have no idea.  I have never drank or smoked or done drugs...but I know the pain of addiction.  I know what process the brain goes through when justifying a return to your old habits.  I know what the shame of relapse feels like.  I know the sting of self defeat.  My client and I were asking each other, do we have to give up unhealthy food forever the same way an alcoholic gives up drinking forever?  Is it the same?  Right now, for me, yes.  I can't cheat just once.  Not now.  I just don't know if I have to tools yet to live a life of balance.  

If I am babbling, feel free to stop reading now.  I just have to get this out for my own sake, so sorry, check back soon for more uplifting posts!

Usually when I blog I have overcome something, and I blog about it to share with others my victory.  Sometimes, I am in the middle of something, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I still feel positive about it.  Right now, I am in a place I have never been before.  Utterly terrified, and completely...hopeless.  Facing a life of this battle terrifies me.  Even at my heaviest weight I always hoped that someday I would overcome my weight battle.  Now, with TSFL I know how to overcome the fat....but I am left with the addiction, and addiction I have no idea how to overcome.  They say once an addict always an addict.  So what does that mean for me? Do I live with this forever? Will I ever overcome this and learn to have a lifelong healthy relationship with food?  I really, truly, have no idea.

Tough Week

 

This picture is kind of what I have been feeling like doing this week.  I joined the gym and so i have been trying so hard to stay on the program even though I really just want to eat and eat and eat.  As I always have done in the past, I chalk the cravings up to lack of control or I find some way to blame myself and turn the anger inward.  Until today.  I had a revelation.  I had a miscarriage at 4 months pregnant this summer and my due date is about 2 weeks away.  I have been extra emotional about it and after months of not crying over the issue, i have been crying myself to sleep and tearing up at the grocery store while passing the baby section and wanting to hold my 3 year old like a baby and smell his hair.  I really truly thought that I would be pregnant again by now and that my "due date" would be a non issue. Thus, I have not prepared myself for all of these emotions.  All of this has been happening and i have been suppressing it all. The moment I feel sad, i wipe the tears and push the pain away. Today, I even began to feel physically ill.  So, it hadn't really occurred to me that I was eating my feelings.  I find myself back in the old habit of standing at the pantry waiting for something to speak to me.  Waiting for that one food that is going to make me numb.  It took me an hour to make my dinner tonight because i knew I didn't want "lean and green" but I couldn't decide how "bad" to be.  What could I eat that will make me satisfied??  I settled on eggs and toast with a bit of melty cheese...not a huge sin, but not the best choice.   Comfort food I guess.

Part of making changes is understanding why we make bad choices in the first place.  I remember once on the Oprah show she said that she always thought she was fat because she liked food and not because she had some underlying issues.  It wasn't until she was truly honest with herself the she realized her eating was a direct result of her horrible childhood.  I still don't really understand why food is such a drug for me.  I know i use it when I am stressed or sad.  I still have not had any light bulb moments from my past decoding the mystery of my food addiction, but I have learned through TSFL how to recognize my weaknesses as they happen.  I understand why this last week has been so hard.  Now, the trick is, how do I find comfort without eating?  Do I allow myself to medicate with food?  I have always felt entitled in the past when i am sad to medicate however i want.  I stand in front of the pantry or the fridge and the two people that exist in my head battle over the choice to make. THE BEAST returns and I feel like a person in a movie with an angel on one shoulder and the food devil on the other.  

One of life's greatest blessings is that tomorrow is always another day, and we always have the chance to start anew and make better choices.  With a new week approaching, I feel confident that I can gain control and cope better.  Tears may come and feelings may be sad, but that is ok.  I have a lot of people who love me and most importantly, I have prayer, and the comfort that comes with knowing there is a plan, and that The Lord is aware of me.  As tired as I am of people trying to make me feel better by telling me it just wasn't time, or you will have a baby when the time is right...I know they are right.  i know all those things.  That doesn't mean it has to be easy.  And that doesn't mean I lack faith for struggling with it.  I am so thankful for what I do have, and truly I feel like this last 5 months has changed my life forever.  The Lord has given me this time to get healthy and I am so thankful for that.

I've Joined Up!!

 

After much contemplation and more pain in my knee, I made a big decision today.  I joined a gym.  I am actually pretty excited about this new adventure.  I have been a member at many many gyms, but have never been a member at a gym when I wasn't trying to loose a ton of weight.  I am kind of excited to see how quickly my body will change since I am only 7 pounds away from my goal weight.  It will be so different to actually SEE muscles!!  I will keep you all posted on how things go!  I am going to try Zumba for the first time!!  Wish me luck!

Back on The Wagon

 

i have a little bit different philosophy when it comes to weight loss and the holidays.  I believe that if you live your life in a way that is healthy 95% of the time, it is okay to have a good time eating what you enjoy during holiday celebrations.  A lot of diet and nutrition specialists will tell you to still govern yourself, and go in with a game plan.  I on the other hand say this.  Just enjoy it, be accountable, and know that come Monday, you will be back on the wagon.  Does this mean go crazy?  NO.  Does this mean eat everything in site and then repent for it later...NO.  This means, celebrate, enjoy, don't be a slave to the scale.  You may gain a pound or two, but, it the big picture, that is not a big deal.  You can loose those few pounds by the end of the following week doing what we know we should.  I for one am DONE punishing myself for enjoying food.  I don't eat like that but a few times a year, and darn it, I think we earn it every now and again. 
 

If you are anything like me, you will be so sick of eating by the end of the weekend, you will be ready for some lean meat and green veggies!  

So, now the challenge is to prepare yourself for the next round of holidays.  BE 100% BETWEEN NOW AND THEN!!!  YOU CAN DO IT.  Do yourself a favor and follow whatever plan you are on 100% for the next four weeks so you don't have to end the holiday season 10 pounds up!  I feel like if I can end this season 5 pounds down from where I was last week, I will call it a victory.  If you are at your goal weight, make it a goal to end the season at that same weight.  IT CAN BE DONE! 

The Results Are In!

A picture can say a thousand words right?  As I look at these pictures, more than a thousand words come to mind.  Thousands upon thousands of words!  I am not done with this journey yet, but I have made incredible strides and I can't help but be emotional when I look at these pictures.  I don't even remember that sad looking girl 48 pounds ago.  I feel like part of her has died and a new happier girl has been born to take her place.  i still have days where she creeps in, but I am so thankful that I have learned how to be happier, and healthier! 

Total Weight Loss So Far

48 pounds~

Cheating

 

When I started TSFL I made myself a 90 day goal. I promised myself that I wouldn't cheat ONCE during that 90 days.  And I didn't.  I lost 33 pounds in 90 days and started to feel better than I have ever felt in my whole life.  Once that 90 days was up, I decided just to stay on the program but give myself a few cheat days here and there.  It is crazy how that tiny little inch I gave myself can become a mile.  During the 90 days, I was so restricted, and had such a clear goal.  Now that I have reached that goal, and am kind of in limbo, it is harder to be so strict.  I don't really need to loose too much more weight, and to be honest my focus is on trying for another baby, so I am having a hard time figuring out a motive to not cheat.  Right now, I am trying to stay as strict as I can when I am at home, or work, but I gotta tell you, when I go to my in-laws house that is full of tempting junk food, it is really tough.  I did cheat a bit last night, and I regret it.  I want to give myself leeway now and again, but at this point in my journey, I am trying to learn how to have balance. And somehow, this is harder than the restriction. 

Purging

 

Many women are guilty of this...we keep an array of clothing in our closet ranging from our smallest size up to our "fat clothes".  We have ALL done this.  We keep our "skinny clothes" as a "goal", and we keep our "fat clothes" just in case. Why?  The other night, I was watching "Ruby" and she was having such a hard time getting rid of her dresses she wore when she weighed 715 pounds.  I have never owned clothing that big, but I have been holding on to a closet FULL of clothing I can't wear anymore.  I guess part of me still doesn't believe that I can maintain this weight.  Maybe another part of me worries that if I don't, I will have nothing to wear.  But, the other morning, I was laying in bed wide awake in the wee early hours, and I jumped out of bed and began purging.  I ended up with two garbage bags full to donate, 2 plastic totes full to consign, and some stuff I just threw out.  On one hand it felt good to see all of it gone.  On the other hand I felt sad giving up some of my favorite clothes and it felt weird looking at my empty closet afterward.  It also felt very symbolic.  A lot of the clothes I had were purchased during dark times in my life when I felt so out of control. Looking at my clothes I had some very vivid memories of the doom I felt while trying on the clothes and looking in the dressing room mirror.  Some of the clothes I own were purchased to hide my body.  I also had a few outfits that I had purchased as my "goal" outfits and before I could ever wear them they were too big.  It was a bitter sweet experience, one I needed to do.  The weirdest thing to think about is that soon, I may be purging the clothing I am wearing right now!  That will be an exciting day!

So with all of this purging, it made me think.  What else in my life can I get rid of that is weighing me down? Again, I was watching "Ruby" and her therapist encouraged her to change 5 things in her life. Exchange 5 bad or negative things for 5 positive or healthy alternatives.  So, in the spirit of purging, here is what I came up with for my own life.

1. Get rid of Diet Soda/drink more water

2. Cut back on TV/ read more/move more

3. Stop staying up so late/get more sleep

4. Less time on computer/ Pray more, Study gospel more

5. get rid of selfish time wasting behaviors/spend more time with my son

So, the purge has begun.  I am taking baby steps towards shedding the "old" me. The me who was weighed down in so many ways.  This journey is far from over. I have so much to learn and so much room to grow. I am so thankful for the light that TSFL has helped shine into my dark places.For the first time ever, I feel like I am getting my head straight!

New Favorites!!

 

I have had 13 of these bottles of syrup in my pantry since I started the program.  Some of them I use more often than others.  The peanut butter syrup was one I didn't use until today!  I mixed it in my Vanilla shake and it was AMAZING!!  Better yet, I mixed it in my Banana Cream shake, and it was to die for!!

Another fun thing I did the other day was I mixed a table spoon of Pumpkin Pie syrup in my original pancake and then added pumpkin pie spice to it.  It was a yuuuummmy pancake!

I loooove the MF soft serves...I eat one every night, well the other night I added Toasted Marshmallow to the Peanut Butter soft serve, and it was so naughty!!! I loved it.  

Just thought I would share some of my recent creations with you!!

Welcome Back!

 

Turns out that loosing weight, eating right, getting more sleep and exercising is a great way to get your brain back!  Who knew!!  Tonight I was running and I realized...I was smiling.  Smiling?? Who smiles while they are running besides a person who just got away with something??  I got to thinking...it has been a long time since I have felt depressed, confused, or lethargic.  For the first time ever I feel just good!  Things seem doable, my life doesn't seem so bleak.  Do I still have bad days? Sure I do, but lately they seem few and far between. I feel like I have my brain back.

I DID IT!!

 

Well, I did it!  I reached my 3 month goal!!!  I set a few goals when I started TSFL and today I accomplished one of them!  I reached 145 pounds.  That means I have lost 33 pounds since August 9th and 43 pounds since this time last year.  Being 145 means a lot to me.  It means that I weigh less than I did when I graduated high school, it means I weigh less than I have in my entire adult life, it means that I was able to achieve a goal I have never been able to achieve in my entire life.  Another goal I thought I may never be able to achieve is that I have been 100% committed to my goal and have not cheated once!  I also have been running again...all in all things are good for me right now!  I am so grateful for the changes that TSFL has helped make in my life.  I have been able to do things I never EVER thought possible.  

Pictures to come soon!  

My new goal...135 pounds! 

Gravity

 

WARNING: If you are a man, or you are easily embarrassed, do NOT read this post! hahahaaa!!

Ok, I warned you! So if you are reading, this, hopefully, you won't judge me too harshly.  

I have always been...ahem...well, busty.  No matter how much I weighed, my upper body changed very little.  Even after having a baby, I still felt like the girls looked pretty good.  However, this last couple of weeks, I have noticed the ladies beginning to loose some of their flair.  Yesterday, it was all brought front and center when I went to get dressed and my bra was too big.  I knew they were getting smaller because when I started the program I was wearing a DD due to how big I had gotten everywhere else.  But now, my C's, which is the average size I have been since high school are TOO BIG.  I will be honest...I FREAKED.  

My husband got kind of annoyed at me because I was making such a big deal about it.  He said, "You know April, it is always something with you isn't it? Now you are mad because you are skinny but your boobs shrunk?"  That made me think. 

It is kind of a trade off isn't it? I can be overweight and have large full breasts, or I can be thin and loose volume and begin to feel the effects of gravity.  Which do I prefer? Hmmm, I think I will take the latter.  So as part of my journey, I have hit an unexpected bump in the road.  I never thought that there would be something to be embarrassed about on my new thinner body.  I was not prepared to feel self conscious about ANYTHING.  So, just as I had to struggle to love myself as a larger person,  now I have to learn to love what is now my new reality.  I will have to work on that one.  I did make my husband promise me that if I ever got down to 125 that he would let me get some "work" done!!  Until then, I have some work to do on myself!

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My First Time Out

 

As part of my commitment to stay 100% dedicated to my TSFL program, I have avoided dining out.  However, my niece got engaged this last week and we really wanted to take them out for a celebratory dinner.  I had a ton of anxiety about where to eat, and how to order without upsetting our server and what if I didn't enjoy my dinner...blah blah blah.  

We chose to go to Cheesecake Factory...I know sounds crazy huh, so much temptation.  But the reason I chose it was because of their extensive menu.  I knew that they could probably tweak just about anything for me. I was SO impressed!!  My server was so so accommodating about my meal and even made suggestions to me on how to order.  I ended up having a lovely meal of grilled ma hi ma hi, al dente asparagus, and a salad with their house balsamic which was AMAZING!  I truly enjoyed my meal.  I felt so wonderful about the experience.  Then, while the others ordered dessert, I ordered a hot mint tea.  I really had no temptations.  I felt completely satisfied!  It was wonderful!! And honestly, I am sure I could go back and enjoy many different things on their menu and still stay on plan!  

The other bonus to this was that I went out with family, celebrated with food,  but in a good way!  I didn't have to indulge to have a good time! I felt very liberated.  Can I say I didn't wish for a giant slice of their new peanut butter cup cheesecake, no I can't say that, but, I resisted and left there feeling good about myself!

The Beast

 

I was watching an episode of "Ruby" today and she was talking about her life long struggle with weight.  I started crying when she said she referred to her struggle as "the beast she keeps going in the ring with".  The visual was so real to me I couldn't help but cry.  I have always had this image in my head of myself being beat down by some unknown force that I couldn't seem to conquer.  It was on the other hand very impowering to envision myself beating the hell out of "The Beast"  I AM WINNING!  I never want to forget how it felt to be defeated time and time again because hopefully that will keep me in fighting shape.  But, I do have to say, getting closer to the final round feels great!

Inspirational!!

 

 

On a whim tonight I started watching Ruby on Netflix. A) I LOVER HER! B) She is so inspiring.  I would seriously encourage anyone to watch her journey.  Just in the first episode alone I cried, laughed, and learned some things.  I loved it and I can't wait to watch her transformation! 

Getting Noticed

 

When you are a person who has spent most of her life hiding behind loud make-up, big hair, flashy jewelry and a quick wit, it becomes a bit difficult when people start noticing you for...well...YOU.  In the last few weeks, I have seen a few friends and clients that I have not seen since I began TSFL.  In my head, I am still the "fat" girl, and so when people walk into my salon and make amazing and sweet comments about how good I am looking, it feels a bit strange to me and I am not quite sure just how to deal with it yet.  I was telling a friend that I still shop like I am overweight, I still avoid the mirror like I am overweight, and I still dread the scale like I am overweight.  I have heard of this phenomenon before with people who loose a great deal of weight.  My whole life I have thought that once I got thinner, my problems would be over and I would be so happy.  Don't get me wrong, I am SO happy but my problems are still there and life still goes on and stresses still arise.  

So how do I make the switch in my head?  How do I learn to just "be" around people without my thoughts being consumed with my weight and my body image issues? How do I learn to accept compliments without feeling a bit ill?  How do I begin to let people see the real me and not the made up faced of me?  How do I "let loose" in my married life and allow my husband to make me feel beautiful without thinking he is only saying nice things to me because he has to?  I don't know....really I don't.  I am starting with a LOT of prayer.  I also promised myself that if someone gave me a compliment, I WOULD ACCEPT IT!  I have tried really hard to let people share their excitement for me and share with them how happy I am. I am trying to enjoy the spoils as they say!  I worked hard to look like this, hopefully it will only get better.  Hopefully, in the next year, I will get more in shape and get more healthy, and make more changes and people will be noticing it! So, I must learn to "be" this new person.  This April is an April I have never known before.  I guess I should be just as happy for her as everyone else seems to be!!

Apprehension

 

It's funny.  When you start something new, that may be a bit out of your comfort zone, you tend to dread it.  I know for a lot of us, eating better, loosing weight, and beginning an exercise program falls right into that "dread" category.  I know for me, when I decided to do TSFL I was apprehensive.  I worried that I might feel deprived or hungry or cranky or that it wouldn't work or that I wouldn't have the will power to succeed.  Well, almost 3 months later, and now I see myself at the other end of the spectrum.  My apprehension is no longer about IF I CAN do this but now it is about whether or not I can maintain it.  I gave myself a 3 month block of time in which I would not cheat, and I would give myself to the program 100%.  I told myself that no matter how much weight I lost in that three months, I would begin phase II of the program on November 9th.  Well, I am pleased to say I have not cheated, and have given the program my 100%, but now, I am kind of worried about entering the "real" world of choices again.  Have I learned all I need to learn??  Am I ready to make better choices on my own?  I have a list of foods in my head that I plan to eat on Nov. 9th...none of them being healthy foods of course.  I still feel myself justifying indulgence by telling myself I deserve it for being so good for 3 months solid.  To be honest, it frightens me.  TSFL does all the thinking for me, I just do what I am told, and I see results.  I know that I have made great strides, and that hey, I may slip up here and there, I am just hoping I have learned new ways to live and cope with out using food as a drug.  I guess only time will tell!!

On the Road Again!

 

I have said this before.  I always thought that people who claimed to "enjoy" running were either crazy or lying.  Well, I have joined the ranks of the crazy...and I am NOT lying!!  I have spent most of this year in painful, grueling rehab.  I have been in the depths of despair feeling like all of my efforts were lost after my knee injury.  I worried that I may never feel whole again.  I have had days where I was unable to walk up and down my stairs without searing pain.  So, to be here now, to be "on the road again" feels amazing.  I started a couch to 5k program about 4 weeks ago, and tonight was the first night in the program where I ran more than I walked.  I was nervous about tonight knowing that I would be running a majority of the time.  But, when I finished each segment of my run feeling energized and pain free, I couldn't help but feel a bit emotional.  My soft tissue therapist lives in my subdivision and I seriously almost rang his doorbell after my run tonight to give him a high five!!  

So, in celebration of my return to training, I am running a 5k with two of my sisters in law on Thanksgiving morning!  I am so excited for my very first race!  I know to some people a 5k may not seem like much...but to me, a girl who used to tell her PE teacher she had asthma just to get out of running, it is a HUGE deal!  I am running this race in my home town which seams like a full circle moment to me!  I spent 18 years in that place feeling unworthy, feeling fat, hating myself and who I was.  I avoided challenging myself for so long, worried that I would disappoint myself as I always had.  Now, 10 years after I left home, I am returning as a new and improved person ready for my biggest physical challenge so far!  And who knows, I may just fall in love with races, and shoot for a 10k next!!

Count your Blessings

As fun as it has been to loose 37 pounds in the last year, I have to say, my body is slowing the weight loss down quite a bit.  I have always been more of a slow and steady looser, but this last few weeks has been a bit ridiculous.  I have not cheated ONCE not ONCE and I am running again so what heck right?  Well then last night I put on a pair of pants that I bought as a goal and they FIT!  So, once again,  I am reminded that what the scale says isn't always a great way to measure success.  So in the spirit of "counting your blessings" here is a list of the successes I needed to remind myself of last night!

1. I am wearing a smaller size of jeans than I have ever worn before

2. I am able to RUN AGAIN!

3. The muffin top effect is truly lessening every day!!!

4. I have been 100% committed to my goal for 2 1/2 months

5. And oh yeah...I HAVE LOST 37 POUNDS IN A YEAR!!

I challenge you all to sit down and make a list of your successes, whether they be for health, personal, spiritual, whatever.  I think it is a good idea to remind ourselves often of what good things we are doing and stop giving ourselves such a hard time about the little things that seem to elude us.

Things I loved to eat today!

I know I haven't posted any new recipes in a while,and there is a good reason for that!  I have not tried ANYTHING new for like a month. My life has been so busy that I have just stuck with what I know.  Tonight I felt like making something new.  So I took chicken breasts and cooked them up in a frying pan with a healthy dose of this Newmans Own Light Honey Mustard.  I start out with the burner on high so the outside of the chicken gets nice and crispy then I turn it way down to slow cook the chicken and help retain the moisture.  This chicken was divine!  I partnered it up with a salad and a giant glass of ice water.  It hit the spot and now I have a new favorite!!

Make Over Time!

Welcome to the new look of Snub the Chub.  I am working on some new and fun ways to make this blog more interactive!  If you have any suggestions...or comments...please feel free to speak up! I would love to know what my readers want from this blog! I hope you enjoy!

So, What Size am I??

Mmmmmkkk...so I know that part of this journey I am on is coming to accept my body the way it is, and that I have got to stop focusing so much on numbers. I am trying really hard to focus on optimal health and just do the very best I can. That being said...I am still a girl, and I still want to see the number on the scale go down, and I reeeeaaaallly want to see the number on the tag inside my jeans go down. Today, I went to try on jeans and in one brand I bought an 8 (for the first time since I was a pre-teen by the way!!) and in another brand I couldn't even zip the 10 up. Then in the Jrs department, I was able to buy an 11 in one style, and in another the 11 didn't even fit past my thighs. Soooo, do I say I am in an 8 or a 10? Does is even matter to anyone else except me what number is on the tag inside of my jeans? Probably not right?? I do have to say, I was pretty jazzed about the idea of even being in anything with an 8 on the tag, even if that particular line does "run a bit big". So, I am just going to come to terms with the fact that the fashion world only wants to make us feel crazy and I need to be happy with the fact that I bought new jeans and looked amazing in them!! I even tried on a pair of skinny jeans just for the heck of it and wasn't totally grossed out!

Things I Loved to Eat Today!

Today I marinated some chicken breast in this yummy vinaigrette from Kraft. Vidallia Onion vinaigrette and marinade. I put about 1/2 cup of this in a gallon sized baggie, along with about 1/4 cup onion flakes, 1 tsp Mrs. Dash Tomato Basil Garlic and about 1 tbs. olive oil. Marinated this for about 3 hours then grilled it up on the grill with mesquite briquettes! IT WAS SO YUMMY!



Recently I figured out a fun way to prepare asparagus. I put it on a cookie sheet, spray it with Crisco butter spray, sprinkle some sea salt on it and the secret ingredient, is...CHICKEN BULLION, in powder form! Then I broil it on low for 4 mins and is it delish!!

When the Scale is Stuck.

Every now and again we all face this horrible nightmare during our weight loss journey; you walk into your bathroom with that great feeling that you have done all you can this week and you can't wait to see the rewards for your efforts showing up on the scale. Then, to your horror, the number is the same it was last week...or even worse, IT HAS GONE UP. Your head spins, your face gets hot, you fell a surge of rage rush through your body. You pick up your scale and while screaming, "I KNEW YOU WERE FROM THE DEVIL," you hurl that evil device across the room with all of your force.
Does this sound familiar?? I know I have been there more than a few times. It can be so frustrating to our efforts, and in a lot of cases this little problem can make us want to throw our hands up and quit. This is part of the "diet" trap. We have convinced ourselves that the only way to gauge our success is by seeing the numbers drop on the scale. But, please, take a step back from Satan's measuring tool and consider a few factors.

1. Where are you in your cycle? Could it be possible that you are retaining water? If so, stay calm my sister STAY OFF OF THE SCALE, and give it a few days. If you stay on your plan, you may even end up a few extra pounds down!

2. Are you under a great amount of stress? Stress is a proven way to make your body pack on a few, or hold on to the pounds you are trying to loose.

3. Are you getting enough sleep? Sleep deprivation can cause our bodies to skip the all too important "recovery" phase of our sleep cycle causing us to store extra fat.

4. Are you drinking enough water? If you are not, your body has no way of flushing out the excess. Up your water and see how well that works! Your urine should be virtually colorless, if not, DRINK MORE!

5. Are you eating higher glycemic foods? Some fruits and vegetables really aren't that desirable for weight loss. Check out the Glycemic Index, and try to pick foods with the lowest numbers. During weight loss, those foods will speed up the process!!

6. Where are you in your journey? During the entire first month your weight according to the scale can shift dramatically. Water weight is a finicky thing. Weigh yourself at the same time every day, and weigh less often. I read in a book to weigh on day one, and then not again for a whole month...I couldn't wait that long, but at least only weigh once a week for a while until your body gets into a rhythm.

7. Are you keeping track of inches? Sometimes you may not loose pounds, but you are still loosing inches. Remember THIS post when we discussed the differences in fat and muscle? If you are working out, you may be building muscle and that very muscle may be taking the place of fat. So you may weigh the same or more, but your body is still shrinking.

I challenge you to look for other ways to rate your successes.
1. How do my clothes look and feel?
2. How have my physical capabilities improved?
3. Are others noticing me looking happier?
4. Do I feel happier (other than when I look at the scale)?
5. How has my muscle tone improved?
6. Am I making strides in changing bad habits within my family?
7. Am I setting goals and achieving them outside of weight loss?
8. Am I setting a good example for my friends and family?

These are all things to think about each day. Forget the numbers and focus on the idea of Optimal Health!
There could be so many more factors to a plateau, but just keep in mind...if you are obeying the rules, and making good choices, you WILL be rewarded. Stay positive and do your best!

21 POUNDS!!!

And it feels so good!!

I started exercising this week and I know it has made all of the difference in the world. I had been stuck for a few weeks and with the help of one AMAZING homeopathic physician named Dr. Nuzum, and an INCREDIBLE soft tissue therapist named Dr. Race I have overcome the plateau. I started an herbal suppliment called Colax that the good Dr. gave me, and while some of you may find this to be an overshare, I feel like it is all part of the journey...anyways, let me just say, it is amazing to me how much my body has been holding on to. I read once that the average person carries around 7-15 pounds of excess waste. Waste that is never fully cleansed from the body. In the last few days yes, I have been feeling the churning in my body, but I still feel so much better just being able to cleanse out my system.

If you have been reading this blog for some time, or if you know me personally, you know that I injured my leg while running back in February. It has been a tough and strenuous journey back to having a pain free leg. I am almost there. I was able to complete day one of my couch to 5k training the other day and that was a tear jerking accomplishment for me. To go from never running in my entire life to running a 5k, and then to have it taken away from me was heartbreaking. It feels so good to be back out there running and feeling good again! Thanks Dr. Race!!

Oh yeah...did I mention...21 POUNDS!!!!!

Things I Loved to Eat Today

I have used this dressing before, but sort of forgot about it until I was at the grocery store the other day looking for something new. I grabbed a bottle of Kraft Light Raspberry Vinaigrette. This dressing is amazing with chicken and tonight I made a salad with:

6 oz. cooked chicken
2 baby cucumbers peeled and sliced
2 cups artisan lettuce blend from Costco
3 tbs. dressing

I loved this salad! I have discovered another little gem...the artisan lettuce blend. I was so tired of romaine lettuce and plain ole iceberg wasn't cutting it either. So I tried this last time I went to Costco, and I LOVE IT! These flavors ad a little zing to your regular salad blend!

Does Muscle Really Weigh More Than Fat???

I have always loved it when people say that to me...yeah, I am this weight because muscle weighs more than fat...right??? NO! Remember that old riddle what weighs more, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers? THEY BOTH WEIGH A TON! Something that is true however is the fact that fat takes up more room in our bodies than muscle. Here is a perfect example. 5 months ago before I got pregnant I weighed 156 pounds. Being pregnant for four months and having a miscarriage caused me to gain 21 pounds. I have since lose 19 of those pounds and am only 2 pounds away from my lowest weight 5 months ago...however....my clothes DO NOT fit the same. I chalked it up to the pregnancy weight shifting in my body and my hips changing until the other day when my husband said something that flipped a light on in my head. I was complaining about my pants not fitting when my husband said,"honey, when you were 156 pounds 5 months ago, you were working out like crazy and jogging every day, you had a lot more muscle." OHHHH YEEEAAAAHHH, I kind of forgot! Of course my clothes don't fit the same.

So take a look at these pictures. The top one is 5 pounds of fat vs 5 pounds of muscle and the bottom one is an image of what a person would look like if they weighed the same amount but one has more muscle.

So what does this all mean? It means that I need to stop fixating on the numbers I see on the scale and start worrying more about the way my body looks and feels. I am going to do more weight training and see where the road leads me!!

Can Gum Change Your LIfe??

I SAY YES!! I bought this on a whim the other day because my favorite flavor of anything is mint chocolate chip. I put it in my purse and forgot about it until this morning. Can I just say...this gum has changed my life!! Call me crazy but to feel like I am eating dessert without actually eating dessert is a major plus! Trust me, buy some, and you will see!!!

Something old...something NEW

Usually every couple of days I like to try new things, and usually you see it as my,"Things I love to eat" posts. Well, life has been so so so busy this last couple of weeks with my hubby starting at BSU, Z man starting preschool, me changing my schedule at work, and so on and so on. With all of this going on, I have not made time to try anything new. Tonight since Mitch was working late, I took my favorite chicken and some asparagus over to a friends house and cooked it there and had dinner with her and her sister.

It is a rare occasion when I try a new vegetable and I don't gag. My friend and her sister were eating fresh red peppers, and I got a bit gaggy just thinking about it...but then...I bucked up and tried one...and was pleasantly surprised. I think with a bit of tweaking, I may be able to find a way to enjoy fresh red peppers in my diet. I will be racking my brain trying to come up with the perfect companion sauce or dressing to make them delectable.

So, the point of this is to encourage you to try something new....today!! You never know, you may love it!!

Making Changes for the WHOLE Family

It's funny, as I have begun to make changes in my habits, and in the way I see food, I have had an awakening about my family's nutrition. My husband...heaven bless him...will NEVER, EVER, EVER be fat. He is 28 and can still wear the clothes he wore as a sophomore in high school. He throws a party every time the scale gets kind of close to 140 pounds. He has always been able to eat whatever he wants and not gain a pound. Now, our dear son seems to have inherited those very same skinny genes, and has never been chubby, nor will he ever be. In the past, I have always used this as a justification to let them eat whatever they wanted. Now, however, I see that it is very possible to be thin, and at the same time be very unhealthy. I also see, that it will be up to me to teach our family about health and nutrition. I want my children to have a different relationship with food than I did. I have tried to keep the junk food in our house to a bare minimum. When people visit us they joke about the lack of any, "good" food in our pantry...but that isn't enough. I have challenged myself to start making changes in our home. To start offering healthier choices, and to begin to teach my son better habits. So if you are a parent, or even if you plan on being one someday, make the choice now to ensure your children have a healthier future. Educate yourself on what goes into the foods we buy, I promise, you will think twice about feeding it to your children. I have started small, making easy changes where I can. One major change is that I am cleansing this house of all things made with high fructose corn syrup. It will be hard, but one by one, I am replacing things in my house. I am also trying to offer veggies to my son more often, and I have stopped buying juice all together. I am not saying that all bad food must leave your life forever, but the idea is to make better choices when and where you can!

Don't Forget About The.....

Click HERE for the details!

My Favorite Tricks and Tips!

So now that I am a coach, some of my clients will be reading this blog. I am going to use this as a source for me to share my favorite tips tricks and recipes. Don't worry, for those of you not using TSFL, I promise, the blog will remain relevant for you too! I just wanted to share a list of some of the ideas that have been shared with me that have helped me along the way!

Soups:

When using any of the soups I find that the flavor is best if I make them the night before and let them sit in the fridge. If I am eating soup, I use my optional snack to add the medifast crackers to my soups. I love the garden vegetable.

Chicken Noodle:

I add some chicken bullion, some parsley flakes, a dash of sea salt, and I microwave it with a bay leaf which I remove the next morning.

Chicken and Rice and Cream of Chicken:

I combine these two flavors and use it for two meals. I add the same things to this that I add to the chicken noodle.

Cream of Tomato:

I add chicken bullion, Mrs. Dash tomato basil garlic seasoning, a dash of garlic salt and make sure this one has overnight to sit.

Chili:

I have not used the chili, but I have heard it is great over some salad...kind of like a taco salad. Also, I heard adding some Tabasco sauce helps.

Shakes:

The best tip I have for shakes is to find a place locally that sells coffee and Italian soda flavoring syrups. You can have up to 4 tbls of the sugar free variety each day. The hot cocoa is amazing as a chocolate shake. I actually like it better than the dutch chocolate. I also prefer the shakes with about 6 pieces of ice blended up in it. I bought straws from the store to drink my shakes with. It sounds cheesy, but using a straw makes you slow down a bit and I don't feel like my meal is gone in 2 seconds!

Strawberry shake and White Chocolate syrup
Hot cocoa with just about anything!
Orange cream with vanilla syrup...orange dreamsicle!
Vanilla shake with brown sugar and cinnamon syrup with a dash of ground cinnamon
Banana Cream shake with a dash of cinnamon and Caramel syrup

Oatmeal:

I have only tried the peach oatmeal because it came in my free week package. I did not even try it at all the first month. Recently, I thought a hot bowl of oatmeal sounded good so I tried it. Not the best, but not bad. If you add some cinnamon to it and a small packet of Splenda it is ok. I had the best results with it when I used a bit more water than called for and cooked it for a bit less time than called for.

Soft Serve:

I blend the soft serve with the right amount of water, but with way more ice. I add more ice to make it thicker, then I add 1-2 tbls of sugar free flavoring to makeup for the extra ice. I love the soft serve and am trying new combinations every day!

Coffee soft serve with hazelnut syrup
peanut butter soft serve with raspberry syrup
Coffee soft serve with Caramel syrup
peanut butter soft serve with Caramel
peanut butter with toasted marshmallow syrup
Chocolate mint soft serve with extra chocolate or extra mint syrup
Chocolate mint with Caramel

You get the idea

Fruit Drinks:

The fruit drinks are so yummy when blended up with ice and diet sprite or 7up or Fresca. They blend up to a slushy consistency!

Pudding:

I am trying this tip today, so I will report back later! But my coach told me to freeze the pudding and eat it more like ice cream. This gave me an idea! I am going to freeze the vanilla pudding and put it in a diet root beer and see if I can't make a root beer float!

Brownies:

I happen to love the brownies the way they are, but to enhance the flavor, I sometimes substitute one tbls of the water with a tbls of flavoring syrup. I also under cook my brownie by about 10 seconds so it has a more fudgy consistency.

Okay folks, these are a few of my tips for now. Be on the look out for when I find out more fun info! Enjoy and as always, if you have any questions at all...please feel free to email me at snubthechub@hotmail.com!

Things I Loved to Eat Today

We spent the most amazing day at Eagle Island today. This morning when I was packing our food I had this genius idea to marinate some chicken so we could bbq it at the park. I was a bit nervous about the outing being my first time "out" while on medifast. I was nervous I would feel triggered to eat so I made sure to pack lots of water, diet coke and I made a fabulous dinner ahead. Can I just say, this was hands down the best chicken I have ever had in my LIFE...and here is what I did:

1 pound raw defrosted chicken tenders
I used tenders because for a picnic setting they cook faster and because they are smaller, you get more char around the corners to enjoy!!

Marinade

In a large gallon sized baggie combine the following
1/3 cup Kraft Sun dried Tomato Vinaigrette
1/4 lemon juice
3 tbl. olive oil
1/4 cup dried onion
1/4 sun dried tomatoes
1 1/2 tbls Mrs. Dash Tomato basil garlic seasoning
1 tbls. garlic salt

Marinate 4-6 hours

We used Mesquite coals on the grill and grilled the chicken until slightly charred on each side. I then grilled some asparagus that had been coated in Crisco butter spray, sea salt and garlic salt. This was seriously the most decadent chicken ever!

If you are reading this blog and not yet a follower, BECOME ONE! I did a giveaway back when I first started, and I think it is time to do another!! Here are a few ways to be entered for the giveaway!

For New Followers

1. Become a follower
2. leave a comment on this post
3. ad me on facebook (April Peterson Johnson) and leave me a comment on my wall

For Existing followers

1. leave a comment on this post
2. leave a comment on my wall on facebook

So are you asking yourself, "What's in it for me?" Well let me tell you! The winner gets a copy of Dr. Anderson's new book "Habits of Health". This book has changed my life and even if Take Shape For Life isn't for you, this book is amazing to read. So, enter and enter in every way you can. The winner will be decided on October 14th...my birthday! Good Luck!

To Be Whole

This seems like a reachable goal...right??? This is, you know the foundation of most life changing programs; to become whole in mind body and spirit. I know people attain this "wholeness" in their lives, I am sure it exists, but in my life there has always been one missing link keeping me from the trifecta of balance. If I am in shape, I am obsessing over myself therefore inhibating me from becoming truly spiritual. If I am overweight, I get depressed, so my mind becomes a hot mess. And right now in my life I feel like all three are kind of a mess. I have tried very hard to overcome the loss of our baby and to move on and to get my body in shape thinking it would make the other parts of my life fall into place. Then, just as I get on a roll with my weight loss, my body failed me and my knee gave out again, then I feel depressed because my efforts seem defeated. Yesterday I had a bit of a meltdown following the third migraine I have had this week. I felt so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am making HUGE sacrifices to change my health and my body and truly living the healthiest life I have lived in a long time, so why should the rest of it be so hard?

So this morning as I was driving home from an early morning appointment at the salon...I thought to myself, "April, it may take you your entire life to have it all". This journey is why we are here, to achieve balance. To learn how to be the masters of our lives. If I had it all figured out by 27, what would I have to learn the rest of my life?? Sometimes it seems overwhelming, but I am sure that I will constantly be working on the balance of life. This is all part of our imperfect mortal minds and bodies. Our health can't always be perfect, even if we are making perfect efforts. Our minds can't always be sound because life gives us trials meant to challenge our resolve. Our spirituality can't always be in tip top shape because we are mortal and that is part of the test.

So, here I sit, feeling less defeated and more hopeful. Today is a new day, and even if it ends up being just as crappy as yesterday, there is always tomorrow!

Things I Loved to Eat Today

Garlic and Lime Pork Chop

4 pork chops about 1 inch thick
4 tbls fresh lime juice
2 tsp olive oil
garlic to taste
2 packets Splenda

Marinate the chops for 1-6 hours depending on how strong you want the flavor.
Place on hot grill and grill 4-5 mins per side

1 serving of pork is 5 oz cooked

This is seriously the best pork chop I have ever had! I served mine with some asparagus that was sprayed with Crisco butter spray and then topped with sea salt and garlic. This dinner was AMAZING!

Mrs. Dash

Just a tip for you all. Mrs. Dash seasonings are amazing. They have really expanded their flavors and I have been using them like crazy. I just thought I would put that out there!!

The Fresh 15

It has been 3 weeks since I started Medifast and I am down ***15*** pounds! I am so excited and I am feeling so so good! I am only 6 pounds away from my smallest weight...so from that point on, any weight I loose will be weight that has been on my body for the last 10 or so years. I have not been in the 140's since my early years of high school! This adventure is so amazing and I can't wait to celebrate the next 15!!

Things I loved to eat today

If you read this blog, you know a few things about me by now...one thing you may not know about me, is that I HATE most vegetables. Sure, I love the easy ones like carrots, sugar snap peas, corn...all of the stuff that is not allowed during phase one of Medifast. So, the hardest part of my day is the "lean and green" meal I make myself. I have pretty much eaten cucumbers, lettuce, asparagus and radishes every stinking day! I have tried...REALLY tried to love other veggies, but I get SERIOUSLY gaggy if I eat certain things. Well, to mix things up, cut up my chicken and put it in my salad. This did a few things; A) it spiced up the regular ole bowl of "yard work"! B) I felt like I needed less dressing because of the moisture from the chicken. C) made me feel like I was eating something new even though it was the same stuff I eat all the time only in a different form!

I did however do something really yummy with the chicken first! I seasoned it with Mrs. Dash Garlic and Herb, the sprinkled a bit of Garlic Salt over that, sprayed the chicken with Butter Crisco cooking spray, slapped it into a frying pan and cooked it. I like to cook my chicken at a really hot temp right at first so it gets crispy on the outside, then I turn the temp way down and let it cook slower maintaining the juiciness! I topped off my salad with my fave sun dried tomato dressing and then proceeded to thoroughly enjoy it!!

It's Official...I'm a Coach!

I know it may seem quick to be jumping into a health coach position, but I feel like I have a lot to share and I am so excited to be able to help those I know and love achieve their goals. This company is so amazing and I just can't wait to really help make a difference! So, if you are interested, visit my website HERE!

Sticking to the Schedule

While doing Medifast for the last 2.5 weeks, I have discovered something pretty interesting...on the days I eat precisely on schedule, I loose weight every day...and if I don't stick to the exact schedule, I either gain a few oz. or I stay the same. I was reading a few days ago in the Habits of Health book by Dr. Anderson, and he describes why it is our bodies NEED to be fed every 2.5 to 3 hours. It is a way to condition our metabolism to stay high. By fueling our body every 2.5-3 hours we are keeping our blood sugar levels normal, thus keeping our insulin pump from over producing, therefore, keeping our metabolism in a state of fat burn. It is so amazing to read something, test it, and prove it right in your own body. I also noticed that when I wait too long to eat breakfast, and I let myself get really hungry before I have a shake in the morning, I spend the rest of the day chasing the hunger. On Sunday, I waited too long after I woke up to have my shake, and I spent the whole day being hungry. But on Monday, I had my shake within 30 mins of waking up, as suggested by Dr. Anderson, and I had no hunger the rest of the day, and lost 1lb. It takes some preparation, and a close relationship with a clock or timer, but I have determined to stick to as strict of an eating schedule as I can. Give it a try and see what you think!
I think that making sure to have snacks in between meals is on of the hardest parts of this idea. Sure, I can prepare a meal when I am supposed to during the normal eating times, but it can be a bit difficult to stop what you are doing to grab a snack. This is why I have loved this program, there is very little thinking at this stage. But for those of you not on medifast, or for those of you just looking for some snack ideas, here are some suggestions for your snacks in between meals. Each snack should be about 100-110 calories

• 1 cup puffed rice & 1/2 cup skim milk
• 1 cup puffed wheat & 1/2 cup skim milk
• 1/2 English muffin & 1/2 tsp butter
• 1 slice toast & 1 tsp jelly
• 1 rice cake & 1 T. peanut butter
• 1/2 cup vanilla yogurt
• 1/2 cup low-fat cottage cheese
• 1 cup skim milk
• 1 large apple
• 1 pear
• 1 small banana
• 1 cup chicken rice soup
• 1 cup beef barley soup
• 1 oz. mozzarella cheese
• 1 cup minestrone soup
• 1 cup turkey vegetable soup
• 1 cup chicken noodle soup
• 1 cup peas & carrots
• 1/2 cup prune juice
• 4 oz. shrimp
• 2 oz turkey
• 1/2 cup sherbet
• 1 cup apple juice
• 10 walnut halves
• 15 almonds
• 4 brazil nuts
• 30 pistachios
• 1 tsp. peanut butter
• 1 frozen fruit bar
• 1/2 cup fat-free frozen yogurt

-2 cups raspberries
-28 grapes
-1 cup blueberries
-1 cup mango chunks
-½ medium cantaloupe
-15 strawberries dipped in 1⁄4 cup Cool Whip Lite
-45 steamed edamame (green soybeans)
-2 tablespoons each of mashed avocado and chopped tomatoes stuffed in 1⁄2 mini pita
-½ red bell pepper dipped in 3 tablespoons hummus

Portions

I have stayed up wayyyy past my bedtime the last few nights reading, "Dr. A's Habits of Health"...I just can't seem to put it down! It is so interesting to me, and yet at the same time, I seem to be learning things I already knew in my heart. Things that the "diet" society would tell you to ignore. Things our bodies and our spirits know to be true. One thing that I love is that this book is all about balance in our lives, and not just balance in our diet. For the first time, I am not being told to work out til I puke, and cut out everything from my diet except fish and lettuce. I am being taught how to make better choices, and how to enjoy a balance in my diet of all the food groups. It is no little secret that the current food pyramid is bogus. Since it's introduction in the 80's we as a country have only gotten fatter...so what do we do?? We blame it on all carbs, and all fats instead of looking at the real problem...portions. So in the book Dr. Anderson tells us when preparing a meal to take a 9 inch plate and divide it like so:

50% of the plate should be fruits and veggies...preferably veggies, especially if you are trying to loose weight

25% should be lean protein such as fish or chicken, and to use other meats sparingly

25% should be your starches, once you have reached your goal weight, avoid starches during weight loss. Whole wheat pastas and other whole grains are most favorable

I was elated when I read that at some point in my life I could eat some of my favorite starches again...in moderation!

So take this little chart and remember it when you make up your plate next time...you will be amazed at how far off our society is when it comes to a balanced diet and the proper portion sizes!

Things I loved to eat Today!

When I am in weight loss mode, the one thing I do miss is comfort foods like PB&J, grilled cheese, chocolate chip cookies...you know the normal sinful foods we give up to get the pounds off...but...tonight, I had a stroke of genius!! I was blending up my favorite Medifast meal...peanut butter soft serve ice cream, when it hit me...add some raspberry flavoring syrup, and this may just taste like a PB&J!! Well, I tried it, and EUREKA! It really did remind me of one of my faves! Plus it gives me one more variety of desert to enjoy while on this journey!!

Things I loved to eat today!

Tonight I think I ate the best salmon dish I have ever tasted in my entire life!! My dear husband grilled me up 1 1/2 salmon patties over mesquite briquettes with a marinade of Kraft sun dried tomato vinaigrette. THIS WAS AMAZING! I served it with a side of grilled asparagus and enjoyed it out on our deck on this beautiful evening followed by a vigorous trampoline jump with my adorable son...this was an amazing night! And while on a diet, I enjoyed amazing food!!