Skinny Cow Skinny Cow...I love you! YES I DO!

How delicious does this picture look?  It is  hard to make low calorie candy that tastes real, feels real, and is in a portion size that doesn't make you feel ripped off.  Well, once again, the angels at Skinny Cow have won my heart.  HERE is a link for a coupon so you can try these bad boys on for size.  I loved them!  And I know you will too!!

I...AM...IN...LOOOVVEEE!

 

How would you like to be in pure Heaven for less that 150 calories?  Sounds unthinkable right?  WRONG!!  I may be a genius...jusssst maybe.  I have a new found love for Coke Zero Cherry...it might be the hormones, I don't know, but I love it.  I had a stroke of lightening hit me today when making dessert for dinner at our niece's house.  Now, I think I may even be able to get this recipe down to less than 150, but I used what I had on hand, so I will make tweaking suggestions as we go.  Prepare yourself...your mind is about to be blown!

Cherry Coke Cake From Heaven

1 box chocolate cake mix(I used Betty Crocker double fudge cake, but devil's food would work great too)

1 can Cherry Coke Zero

1 6 oz container Lite Cherry Yogurt any brand will do

1/2 cup water

Topping

1 pint heavy whipping cream

(fat free topping or lite whipping cream would save you on calories)

1/4 tsp almond extract

4 tbs. powdered sugar

(if you buy Cool Whip, omit powdered sugar and save the calories)

1 can Lite Cherry Topping

(I used Comstock brand, you could also use the no sugar added variety and ad your own Truvia to it)

Directions

In a large mixing bowl add Coke to the cake mix.  I do not recommend using an electric mixer since the carbonation makes the cake mix expand.  

Pour in the yogurt and the 1/2 cup water. 

I baked my cake mix as 24 cupcakes to make the portion sizing easier.

Bake at 350 for 20 mins.

These cupcakes do not get tall and fluffy, this is a fudgier consistency of cake.

Whip the cream to soft peak.  Once it is to soft peak stage add almond extract and powdered sugar and continue to whip to firm peaks.

Take 1 cupcake and top it with about 2 tbs. of cherry topping and a dollop of cream.

24 Servings
141 calories per serving

ENJOY!!

Recipes Re-Visited

 

A few months back I posted THIS recipe.  I had all good intentions to make it tonight, but when it came time to gather ingredients, I was missing the all important apricot jam.  So, I took what I had on hand and made a new recipe!  I call this one Gingeryaki Turkey meatballs.

Meatballs

1 lb. Ground Turkey

1/2 cup seasoned bread crumbs

1/4 dried onion or 1/2 cup diced onion

3 garlic cloves minced

1 whole egg

1/4-1/2 tsp. ginger(i used powdered ginger)

1 tbs. teryaki sauce

salt and pepper to taste

Sauce

1/2 cup chicken broth

2 tbs. teriyaki sauce

1/4 tsp ginger

1 tbs. brown sugar

Combine all ingredients for meatballs in a bowl and form into balls.  This recipe should make about 20.  Place in a greased baking dish and bake @ 400 for 15 mins.

Meanwhile, whisk together sauce ingredients in a small saucepan.  Bring to a boil and let reduce for 15 mins.  

Pour sauce over meatballs and cook for 5 mins.

I served this over quinoa and had asparagus on the side.  I wish I would have had some green onions to chop up in the sauce...next time for sure!  This would also be good with some crushed pineapple!  

Enjoy!

salt and pepper to taste

Pregnancy Brain

 

I KNOW I am not the only woman on the planet who feels this way.  I also know these feelings aren't exclusive to being pregnant...but...with that being said, I feel like I am loosing my ever loving MIND.  I have this strong STRONG urge to eat, and to eat everything in sight.  I have always struggled with an addiction to food and I have always had an unhealthy relationship with food, but this pregnancy is bringing out a side of this addiction I have never dealt with before.  I feel like I am constantly battling within myself day in and day out.  I know that not too long ago I had the lifestyle I have wanted my whole life.  I wore a size 6-8, I worked out 4-5 days a week, I had control over what I ate and had a healthy understanding of what my body needed.  I was fit, happy, and healthy.  I have said this in an earlier post, but as soon as I knew I was pregnant, something just flipped in my head.  It is almost like that fit healthy happy girl was an impostor and this food crazed, fat, tired, angry person I am now is the real me and I had been locked away in some basement and I have finally escaped.  I worry that this is the real me.  I worry that I will never again have the control I had not too long ago.  I am soooo sick of hearing,"give yourself a break, you are pregnant".  NOOO giving myself "a break" is exactly how I get myself into messes like this.  I find, the only way I am ever, EVER the least bit healthy, is by treating myself to a Nazi dose of control.  I am so nervous to go to my OB appointment in two weeks and have her lecture me on how fat I am getting.  Do you think it is possible to loose weight during your second trimester??  I doubt it!  Well, either way, I am determined for the next two weeks to work on myself.  Lots and LOTS of prayer.  Lots of self repair and lots of counting calories.  I am hoping that I can find a comfortable way to sleep so I can get some rest during the night and feel good enough to work out again.  I really do miss that girl...even if she was an impostor.  At least she kept the crazy me quiet, and I would LOVE to have her back.

YUMMMMMMMMM!

 

Don't you just love the way facebook makes the world so small!  It never ceases to amaze me how people from your childhood who you haven't seen in years can become a daily part of your life again! A long lost good friend of my family found me on facebook and she made a post on her blog the other day about homemade fruit paletas! I will be going to the store to buy just about every one of these ingredients!  HERE is the link!  

ENJOY!!

I'm Back...AND....PREGNANT!!

 

Well, it has been since April 22nd my friends.  I have not posted a darn thing since April 22nd.  And, there is a very good reason for that.  I can't exactly post about saltine crackers and umm...well...PIZZA on a weight loss blog.  

I am not going to lie, because I never do on this site, but I went a little street rat crazy during my first trimester.  I had gone back on the Medifast 5&1 program to loose the 7 pounds I had put back on, and I was STARVED and most importantly NOT loosing any weight.  I was totally freaked out because I had such an easy time before on the 5 &1.  Well, after feeling like puking for a few days, and noticing my hunger and cravings getting stronger, I took a pregnancy test.  And yup....BIG FAT POSITIVE!!!  I was elated...and in my brain...liberated!!  Something in my head switched back to the mode of entiltlement, and I felt like I could, and SHOULD eat whatever I wanted because for Heaven's sake, I was hunnngggry.  So after three months of CRAZY eating, and a bit more rapid weight gain than I had hoped for, I had this horrifying dream Monday night where my Hubby told my OB/GYN that he was grossed out by my body and wished I would slow down with the weight gain.  I woke up MORTIFIED.  My husband would NEVER, ever say that, but I think it was a sign from the food Gods that I needed to reign it in!  So with joy, I am back!!  I have posted a few new recipes below that I hope you enjoy!  

I am still using medifast bars, shakes and puffs as snacks 2-3 times per day.  I will be using the 5&1 after the baby to get back down, so I just wanted to keep them in my diet.  Plus, there are so many vitamins in the meals that it can only help this baby be extra healthy!!  I do however have a calorie counting site I am using instead of the medifast site, I find this one much more user friendly, and I can use it on my ipod and computer!!  Check it out! MyFitnessPal.com!!  

I am excited to be back!  I hope you all enjoy these recipes!  Let me know what you think!

Things I Loved to Eat Today!

First, one of my all time favorite breakfast recipes that has been a standby for years.  I am sure I have posted it before,  but just as a refresher, I will re-post my breakfast parfait recipe. I don't have a picture of this one, but since you can alter it is so many ways, just use your imagination!!

1/4 cup lowfat cottage cheese(50 cal)

1 6oz. Light and Fit blueberry yogurt(80 cal)

3/4 cup frozen unsweetened blueberries(70 cal)

1/4 cup Original Uncle Sam cereal(63 cal)

TOTAL CALORIES 263

You can make it pretty and layer it, or just dump it all in a bowl, mix it up and enjoy!  Imagine the possibilities with this, any type of yogurt, any type of fruit!  I prefer frozen berries because they kind of freeze the yogurt around them and it tastes a bit like ice cream! 

Another breakfast recipe that I had this morning that I believe may become a favorite is this yummy pic you see above.  I am calling it English Banana Nutty Goodness!  I happen to LOVE Orowheat Double Fiber English muffins.  I like them much much more than even regular muffins.  So here is what I dreamed up this morning for breakfast!

1 Double Fiber English Muffin toasted(120 cals)

1/2 medium banana sliced(53 cals)

1/2 tbsp peanut butter divided(50 cals)

2 egg whites and 1 whole egg scrambled(104 cals)

1/2 tsp Spike Seasoning Original

TOTAL CALORIES 322

I really, REALLY enjoyed this breakfast.  If you wanted to tweak it even more, buy fat free peanut butter, I didn't have any on hand so I used regular peanut butter.  I have also done this with Noella which would save you about 3 calories.  You could also save about 40 calories and use all egg whites.  I don't know what it is about eggs, but I have just got to see some yellow in there!!

 

Now, last night I was thumbing through my emails and to my pure excitement, I had received a recipe from the Hungry Girl.  She does these great recipes where she teaches you how to swap high calorie favorites for healthier options.  I love love LOVE Waldorf salad and when this swap came to my email, I couldn't wait to have it for dinner.  I did make a couple of changes from her recipe because I didn't have light bread and just kind of felt like having it in salad form.

1/2 apple chopped(36 cals)

2 celery stalks chopped(11 cals)

2 tbs. crushed almond(64 cals)

1/2 cup red grapes sliced(25 cals)

1/4 fat free mayo(33 cals)

4 oz. chicken breast cubed(87 cals)

2 cups lettuce(20 cals)

 TOTAL CALORIES 276

Mix all ingredients except lettuce in a bowl.  Make sure the mayo is evenly spread.  Scoop on top of a bed of lettuce and ENJOY!

Okay, so on Sunday, I was really feeling like cooking amazing food.  I managed to have the energy to make TWO fantastic meals that day.  They both were fairly healthy, but I have modified them even more for this post! 

Blueberries and Cream Breakfast Panini

 

We gobbled this one up so fast I forgot to take a picture!  I promise, you will too!!! I am posting the 4 serving recipe, but the caloric values will be per serving.

8 slices light bread(45 cals per slice=90cals)

1 cup lowfat cottage cheese(50 cals)

2 cups blueberries fresh(45 cals)

1/2 cup  powdered sugar(56 cals)

2 eggs(35 cals)

TOTAL CALORIES PER SERVING 262

Preheat waffle iron.

In the food processor whip cottage cheese and powdered sugar until smooth.  I also added a touch of vanilla.

Beat eggs until smooth

Soak one side of your bread in the egg mixture and place egg side on waffle iron. 

Spoon cottage cheese onto bread and top it with blueberries. 

Soak one side of the second piece of bread and place it egg side up on top.

Close waffle iron and cook

remove from iron and top with a bit more cottage cheese and remaining blueberries.  

4 servings

Chicken with Mustard Cream Sauce

This next recipe will surely become a Johnson family regular. I found it on Framed Recipes.  I did tweak it a bit, but even my super duper picky four year old was ALL over this!  He horked it down so fast!  You can tweak this a bit by having less sauce or a smaller chicken portion. By having a 4 oz. portion instead of a 6 oz portion, you would save yourself 44 cals!!  If you prepare it exactly how it is here, each serving ends up being 303 calories.  I served it with red potatoes but in the future I will serve it with asparagus and drizzle a bit of the sauce on my veggies!! 

• 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (6 ounces each)
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon pepper
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1/4 cup fat free chicken broth
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 4 tablespoons Dijon mustard
• 1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme
  

1. Sprinkle chicken breasts with salt and pepper. In a large skillet, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add chicken; saute until cooked through, 10 to 12 minutes, turning once. Transfer to a baking dish and place in a 400 degree oven on lowest rack while you make sauce.
2. Pour broth into hot skillet; cook, stirring, until reduced by half, about 1 minute. Whisk in cream, mustard, and thyme. Cook, whisking, until thickened, about 2 minutes.
3. Pour any accumulated chicken juices into sauce. 
4. Pour sauce over chicken in the baking dish and place back in oven for 5-7 mins.

ENJOY!

Things I Loved to Eat Today!

 

 I am trying sooooo hard to come up with some new lean and green dinners.  I feel like I have been eating the same 5 things forever.  The last time I went grocery shopping I went out on a limb and bought some Ahi Tuna Steaks.  I have never had much luck in the past with tuna, but I thought I would give it one more chance, and I am sooooooo glad I did!!

Honey Lime Tuna Steaks

(or sweet lime tuna steaks)

1/4 cup light olive oil

1 tbs Old Bay seasoning

1 tbs lime juice

1 tbs Honey or Truvia (hence sweet lime instead of honey lime!)

1 1/2 tsp basil

1 lb. Tuna steaks

Mix first five ingredients in a shallow dish and whisk well.  Add tuna and turn to coat.  Marinate in fridge for 20 mins up to an hour.  Turn occasionally.  

Grill or Broil 8-10 mins per inch of thickness or until fish flakes easily with a fork.  Baste fish with marinade a few times to keep it moist while cooking.

NOTE: I took my fish off of the pan while there was just a bit of pink left in the center.  The fish continued to cook and ended up not being too dry, it was perfect!

I served this with some rice for my family and a giant salad with some broiled asparagus on the side!  It was so so yummy!!

ENJOY!

Things I Loved to Eat Today!

 

I love a good crock pot meal.  I especially love the smells that waft through the house the entire day.  I don't know what it is about having my dinner all taken care of by noon that makes me feel like a more productive person! Today, I experimented with a beef roast.  It turned out really good!  I am trying to branch out and try new veggies, so I started with my husbands favorite, mushrooms.  Here is what i did.

1 can reduced fat reduced sodium chicken broth

1 tbs. olive oil

1 tbs. sea salt

1 tbs. Spike Gourmet Seasoning

1tsp. Garlic powder

1 Beef Roast

1 container mushrooms

First I heated the olive oil in a skillet.  Then while that was heating I pierced the roast with a knife all over.  Next, I took the sea salt, the Spike seasoning, and the garlic powder and rubbed it all over the roast making sure to get it into the holes in the meat.  Then, I browned each side of the roast in the skillet.  Pour the chicken broth into the crock pot and add the roast.  I poured the drippings from the pan into the crock pot as well.  I let this cook on low for about 3 hours.  During the last 20 mins, I dumped the mushrooms in the crock pot whole.  Let those cook and soak up all the yummy flavors.  I don't like overly cooked veggies, so I took them out once they felt al dente.  

I served this with a large salad and it was amazing!  One other thing I loved about this meal was it was so easy to make it husband friendly.  I made a baked potato to go on the side and used the rest of the drippings to make a gravy.  I am a big fan of only cooking one meal and making it work for all of us.  This was amazing and very satisfying!

Important Tips

 

So my first week of the Cardio Free workout is complete.  I have come to a few conclusions of my own about the program.

1.  The most important and different thing about this method is the speed of your reps and sets. The contraction of the rep should take 2 counts, then hold the contraction for 2 counts, then take 4 full counts to release.  He uses a bicep curl as an example.  2 counts on the way up, 2 count hold, 4 counts on the way down. 

2. One of the biggest "Aha" moments for me was when Jim Karas, the inventor of the "Cardio Free Diet" teaches us that a set of reps should never be more than 10 reps.  He breaks it down into phases.

Reps 1-5 are your working reps, these should be pretty easy

Reps 5-8 should be your fatigue reps, you should start to feel the burn during these reps

Reps 8-10 should bring your muscles to failure.  

IF YOU ARE NOT BRINGING YOUR MUSCLES TO FAILURE, YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME

This was a big change for me.  I have always felt like a wuss if I couldn't bust out 10 or 15 reps with ease.  Well Jim Karas tells us, that you must fail to succeed.  

3. I was most definitely using enough weight in the past.  In order to bring my muscles to failure in 10 reps, I had to really up the weight I was using.  Today, I mostly used 15 and 20 pound hand weights.  There were a few of the exercises in the book that required lighter weights like 3's or 5's, but for the most part, I was up in the higher numbers. 

4. A conclusion I came to on my drive home today was this...there is no magic program.  The exercises outlined in the book are not magic.  It takes work to get results.  I am doing the plan in the book, just to get used to this program, but I think the rules he lines out could apply to any strength training exercises.  I do feel like I am getting more of a workout and next week I am going to up the ante by adding a bosu ball to the routine.  

I will keep you informed!

Tell Me What You Think!?!?

So today I started day one of my new workout. It was much more of a challenge than I thought it was going to be. Since I have been working out so much, I decided to add all of the extra phase 2 and phase 3 workouts. I thought for sure I was going to be able to do 3 sets of all of the workouts, but, I was WRONG. I only did one set of about 14 workouts and my muscles were a shakin'! I will make some modifications next time I do the workout, I know which exercises to ad more weight to and which ones I need to do with less weight. The trick here is that you lift very slowly and hold for two counts before releasing very slowly. By the end of 10 reps, you can definitely feel the burn! Another observation I made is that calling this a "Cardio Free" workout is misleading. I was really sweating by the end of the workout and my heart was pumping. I can see how once you get these moves down that this could be a great cardiovascular workout. I enjoyed it and felt very challenged, which I love! Do yourselves a favor and buy this book, you can pick it up for so cheap on Amazon.com

I really want to know what you think of this video, and if you try the workout, let me know!

Things I Loved to Eat Today!

 

I have been adding new foods to my plan as I enter the maintenance phase of TSFL  Today, I invented a recipe from a craving I have been having for something sweet and salty and glazed and yummy.  So here you go...April's Apricot Teriyaki Glazed Tofu Turkey Meatball Extravaganza.  That is the official name ahhahaaa!

8 oz Firm Tofu

1 lb lean ground turkey

1/2 cup seasoned bread crumbs

1 egg

1/2 cup chopped onion

salt and pepper to taste

garlic powder to taste

Form the meatballs and bake in a 9x13 baking dish at 400 for 20 mins.  Meanwhile, make the glaze

2 tbs. Apricot preserves

1-2 tbs Teriyaki sauce depending on how salty you like it

1 tbs brown sugar

1/3 cup water

salt to taste

Bring glaze to a boil.  Reduce heat and simmer till reduced and thickened.

Pour the glaze over the meatballs in the oven and cook 10 more mins.  I even put the oven on hi broil the last 2 mins to crisp it all up.

I served 4 meatballs over 1/3 cup  Quinoa with a side of asparagus and about 1/3 cup sweet corn. 

ENJOY!!

Fun Little Site!

 

My amazing big sister told me about THIS site and this morning I decided to check it out.  SO FUN! The site has tons of fun recipes, tps, videos and much more!  Check it out, you will love it!

Ready to Have Your Mind Blown??

 

So I got this book in the mailbox today and I was pretty excited to start reading it.  I am on chapter three and have already had my MIND BLOWN.  Now, I know that there are millions of claims out there regarding health and weight loss and it seems like all of the "experts" have different methods and different scientific proof to back up said claims.  I for one am a huge believer in doing what you enjoy, and doing the things that make you want to work out.  This book has an eight week program.  I will let you know if I decide to do it, and if so, I will be sure to keep you updated.  I have been intrigued by this book for a while, so when I saw it on Amazon.com for .99, I had to bite!  I will let you know what I think. If you just can't wait, and want to investigate for yourself, check out Amazon.com.  At this point, I really recommend it.  I thought I would hi-light the points I found interesting and share them with you on this blog, but I ended up hi-lighting entire pages and I am sure there are laws about me publishing large portions of the book on my blog, so check it out for yourself, you won't be disappointed! 

Tears at the Gym

Normally when I go to the gym to work out, I listen to music that would make my mother blush.  I like a fast song with a heavy bass line.  Earlier this week I decided that while I stretch I was going to switch to softer music and take a good 10 mins to close my eyes, stretch and relax.  I have even made some time to sit in the massage chairs my gym offers.  Today, the song "Pilgrim" by Enya came on.  I was laying on the floor stretching and just listened to the words.  So profound and so appropriate for the journey I am on.  I hope this inspires someone today as it inspired me!

Pilgrim, how you journey
On the road you chose
To find out where the winds die
And where the stories go.
All days come from one day
That much you must know,
You cannot change what's over
But only where you go.

One way leads to diamonds,
One way leads to gold,
Another leads you only
To everything you're told.
In your heart you wonder
Which of these is true;
The road that leads to nowhere,
the road that leads to you.
 

Will you find the answer
in all you say and do?
Will you find the answer
In you?

Each heart is a pilgrim,
Each one wants to know
The reason why the winds die
And where the stories go.
Pilgrim, in your journey
You may travel far,
For pilgrim it's a long way
To find out who you are...

Pilgrim, it's a long way
To find out who you are...

Pilgrim, it's a long way
To find out who you are...

Are You Feeling the Burn??

How many times in your life have you heard the phrase, "feel the burn"?  Probably at least 10,000 times right?!?  I have always thought that I was feeling the burn...until today.  I made a life changing, workout changing discovery at the gym today.  I have NEVER been feeling the burn.  I don't know if anyone else can relate, but in the past I have always done as many reps of a workout as it took for it to start to hurt a bit.  Usually between 10 and 15 reps.  Sure, it hurt, and most of the time, if the maneuver was tough, I would break somewhere around 10 reps, rest for second, then finish the remaining 5 reps.  Today, for no good reason, I decided not to break, and to just, "push through the pain"(another commonly used fitness phrase).  Since I didn't take a break, those last 5 reps were so hard, but, something shocking happened...the muscles I was working got HOT.  Seriously, a wave of heat flooded those muscles and it really surprised me.  I FELT THE BUUUURRRRN.  Can you imagine how many calories your body uses up in those few seconds of intense burn.  If we believe that a calorie is the energy needed to raise our temperature and burn off fat, then WOW, I have been missing out.  My trainer used to always push me to finish a set of reps without breaking to rest.  I would try, but I would always stop when it hurt thinking that was the burn everyone always talked about.  I know that sometimes those last few reps seem impossible, especially at the end of a workout, but I challenge you to, "push through the pain," and, "feel the burn," as often as you can! I can't wait to see how much faster I am going to see results!

My New Mantra

 

I have spent a LOT of time in gyms over the years.  I have done just about every kind of workout you can imagine.  I have spent a TON of time on cardio machines like treadmills and elipticals, and bikes, and stair climbers.  And where did all of that time killing myself on those machines get me?  NO WHERE!  I would spend 30 mins a day, then 40 mins a day, then 60 mins a day trying to see results and I NEVER did.  So today, as I was leaving the gym feeling amazing after my intense workout that did NOT involve a machine, I made a promise to myself...NO MORE MACHINES EVER!  I walked passed an entire room of people looking so board and so unhappy running like hamsters on those stupid things.  HOW HORRIBLE IS THAT?  I want to enjoy working out...I want to see results...I want to look forward to my workout...I want to push my body to do things I never thought possible.  How can you ever achieve any of that if you are stuck in one place.  And can we all be just be honest with ourselves for a minute...has this ridiculous amount of cardio made us skinny?  There is a book out there called "The Cardio Free Diet".  In this book the author talks about this exact thing.  He says that we are doing the same thing over and over, and adding more and more time to our routine and expecting different results...INSANITY right??  So my new mantra is this, if I do not enjoy it, I am not doing it!!  If it isn't fun, I am not doing it.  If it doesn't make me LOVE working out, I am NOT doing it! I have made myself crazy doing the same thing over and over so, it is time to switch it up.  I LOVE Zumba, I LOVE Turbo Kick, I LOVE lifting, so, that is what I am going to do!  I challenge everyone who reads this to take a step back from your routine and look at what could be different.  Do you enjoy what you are doing?  If not, STOP IT.  It is that simple.  And no matter what it takes, find something you enjoy, and do that instead!  I promise, once you enjoy your workouts, you will find yourself pushing walls down left and right.  Your body will be capable of doing things you never thought possible.  Break free from the hamster wheel!!!  YOU CAN DO IT!! 

Everday Victories

 

Something that I have never been very good at is cutting myself some slack, or counting my blessings.  I tend to focus on the things I didn't achieve and the tasks I failed at each day. During this process, I have had to re-learn a lot of things.  It is a truly life changing experience to loose weight, and in the process, find yourself.  So part of my journey has been re-learning how to treat myself.  Each day I am trying to acknowledge my own little victories in my head.  Today, I was so hungry,but instead of walking next door to Pizza Hut and getting pizza like I wanted to, I made a Medifast meal...little victory.  I am finding that it is easier to stay on plan when I am my own cheerleader.  Changing the inner dialogue is so important to our success, and I am working hard on changing the script in my head.

You Deserve Victory!

SO TAKE IT!!!

What is important to me?

 

This picture kind of made me laugh.  Funny, yes, but in a weird way it is a perfect illustration of how I have been feeling lately.  I am trying to balance a life that is a bit too big for it's britches on top of a tiny, half deflated, unstable ball.  Life is hard.  Talk to anyone right now and it won't take you long to figure out that life is hard.  Most of the time, other people's lives are harder than mine.  It is during these tough times that we have to choose the most important things in our lives, and fight for them.  As any other woman does, I have many things on my plate right now.  My marriage, my husbands lack of work, my husband going back to college and being so very very busy, my son and his anxiety disorder and his many many rituals we go through every day, trying to keep the salon afloat and busy and successful, my responsibilities at church, my friends, money, lack of money, housework, extended family, my weight, my looks, wanting a baby, not having a baby, wanting to be good at it all, and not being able to be good at IT ALL.  Today after a loooong tear soaked talk with my mom, the second one this month by the way, I have made some decisions.  I need to chose.  As hard as it may be, I must fight for the really, really, important things.  I must fight for my marriage.  I must fight to help my son overcome the extra obstacles he faces each and every day.  I must fight to keep my faith in tact and renew my relationship with God every single day.  I must fight to be a good, loyal friend.  And for the rest of it...I just don't know.  God is in command.  I have no clue what he has in store for the rest of it.  I do know this; I can't do it all.  I shouldn't expect myself to do it all.  Eventually, that big ole elephant is going to pop that little ball, and fall flat on his trunk.  But the beauty of that, is that the elephant is going to discover something amazing...solid ground.  You don't have to fight to stay balanced on solid ground. 

I am in LOVE (just in time for Valentines Day!)

 

My dear friend Tracy was telling me about her nieces Hawaiian themed birthday party.  As she was describing the Kahlua Pork that she was making to take to the party my mouth literally started to water.  I just had to have it. So right after work, I went directly to the store and bought the goods to make my own Kahlua Pork!  This was so amazing my husband made himself sick because he ate so much.  Here is what you need

5 lb. Pork Shoulder Roast

2 tbls. coarse sea or rock salt

2-4 tbl. liquid smoke

I did mine in a crock pot because I don't own a roaster,  but a roasting pan would work too.  Take your roast and cut deep punctures all over.  Rub the salt all over making sure it gets into the punctures.  Put the roast into your crock pot or roaster and pour the liquid smoke all over.  Rub the smoke into the meat.  

Once it is in the pan or pot, turn it on to low, or 200 degrees.  My roast was done in the crock pot on low after about 4 hours.  I then turned it down to warm and let it sit for an additional 3 hours.  

I served this with baked sweet potato fries and poppy seed salad.  I made the salad by shredding some lettuce, cutting up a cucumber into small pieces and tossing it with about 4 tbls. of Litehouse Poppy Seed dressing. Find by the produce in the refrigerated section.

This meal was amazing and I can't wait to make it again!

 

 "God made you imperfect so that you would depend on Him. He did not make a mistake in allowing you to be created as you are. You are created in His image and with His divine traits. I wish that you could feel that. Some things can't change. Some things you can. And some things are just not that important."

Someone anonymously posted this on my last entry.  I loved it so much I had to share it.  This is a topic I have struggled with my WHOLE life.  I remember KNOWING I was different by age 9.  I look back in journals that I wrote as a child and I am heartbroken.  How could such a young person have such self hatred.  I know I am a daughter of God.  I have been taught that my entire life.  But somehow it has never saved me from self sabotage. 

I had an ironic moment at a gas station the other day.  I was standing in line to pay and the young man in front of me was buying a HUGE energy drink and a pack of cigarettes.  He was no more than 20 years old and he already had a scratchy smokers voice and he smelled so bad of cigarettes.  In my head I was thinking, what causes people to abuse their bodies in such a destructive way?  At that very moment, I looked at myself and remembered, I was standing in line to pay for two diet sodas and gummy worms to take to a play date for me and my friend.  Is diet soda and sugar any better for me?  Hmmmm....lightning moment.  The whole rest of my day I was wondering about this.  Why oh why do we choose abusive behavior when we KNOW it is bad for us?  What is it in us that makes us so disrespectful of the body God gave to us? 

Then, this morning I log on to write about this topic, and some one left that quote...talk about serendipity!  A direct answer to my query.  We do it because we do not fully understand our divine nature as TRUE and LITERAL sons and daughters of God. We are unwilling to turn our lives fully over to God because we lack the understanding of His power.  I don't have the answer for this.  I have sought it out my whole life.  I do know this.  In order for us to gain a firm grasp on who we are, we must first know who He is. 

 

Keep your eyes out for the new feature that I will be offering on Snub the Chub. I will be posting videos of...drum roll please... MOVE OF THE WEEK.  Soon you can check this blog for fun, exciting and time saving workout techniques.  If you have any requests, leave me a comment and I will try to post a video answering your requests!  See you soon!!

I HAVE HIT THE BIIIIIIG 50!

 

I have lost a whopping 50 POUNDS!! I weighed yesterday and it didn't even occur to me.  Then today at the gym it hit me mid calf raise...wait...188 minus 138 equals....50 POUNDS.  I am so thankful for TSFL.  This program has changed my life FOREVER!  I am so thrilled that I can share this program with people.  It is so empowering and fulfilling to see my friends have success right along with me!  I will NEVER loose sight of this healthy new way of living and I hope to someday share it with even more people!  So, Thanks TSFL. Thanks Dr. Anderson for writing such an amazing book.  Thanks to my coach Danae for bringing this program into my life and for putting up with my rants via txt! Thanks to my Hubby for your undying support, and for loving me before I was skinny!  Thanks to Body Renew Fitness in Meridian for helping me fall in love with Zumba! Thank you to my friends for not tempting me with food when we hang out.  And thank you to everyone who reads this blog...I feel your love and support as well!  But most of all, thank you to My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for blessing me with strength, will power, determination, long suffering, and all of the other things I prayed so hard for during the last 5 months.  I could not have done this without The Lord and his infinite blessings!

So with this 50 pounds gone, I have 8 more to loose before I reach my goal of 130.  I am doing well back on the 5 & 1 and feeling amazing!  

HOOOORAAAHHH!!

Things I LOVED to Eat Today!

 

 

The other day I bought two pre-packaged pork loin fillets.  I bought one BBQ one and another herbed one.  I made the bbq one and may I just say...super yuuummm.  The serving size for pork on the plan is 5 oz.  At first when I measured this out I was worried that 5 oz wasn't enough.  But, this meat was so moist and rich and the bbq seasonings were very robust, so 5 oz was plenty!  I looked them up online to try to find a picture and it looks like there are all kinds of flavor varieties!  The trick for TSFL users would be to scrape off some of the excess seasonings or sauce to be sure you stay within your condiment allowance for the day!  My friend told me that these go on sale at Albertson's for buy one get one free, so I will be keeping an eye out for that sale!

Day Three and 100%

 

So today was day three of my venture back into the 5&1.  I am pleased to say I have had MANY temptations over the last few days but I have stayed 100%.  I even drove my prego bestie through the Taco Bell drive thru with NOT one cheat!  I wanted to...I really did.  And later in our shopping trip together when we stopped again at Iceberg for the babysitter, i really wanted a shake, but I did not partake!  I am inching closer and closer to 130 pounds and this time, I got this in the bag!  I really think the first couple of days are the toughest then you just go into auto pilot.  My coach sent me this little tid bit, and I wanted to share it!  This is a check list for those of you on TSFL.  If you are having a hard time loosing, go over this list and evaluate yourself.

If you are hungry or do not have energy, you are not in the Fat Burning stage:
What is keeping you from getting into the fat burnig stage?
1. Are you eating all of your 5 meals and one LEAN & GREEN
2. What is in your LEAN & GREEN (check the worksheet)
3. Are you having more that one TSFL SNACK (bars?)
4. Do you drink coffee? If so, what do you put in it?
5. Do you chew gum, eat mints, drink too many sugar-free beverages?
6. Are you drinking AT LEAST 64 ounces of water (the more the better)?
7. Is there ANYTHING passing your lips that is not on the 5 & 1? 

New Motivation!

 

Right now in my life there are two things I want.  These two things have been things I have wanted for a long time. One, I want to be 130 pounds...really really bad.  Two, ever since their introduction into the world, I have drooled over the iphone, and I want one.  When it was announced that my network, Verizon was getting the iphone, I nearly cried.  My instinct was to camp out at my Verizon store until they are released.  But, I have come up with a way to motivate myself to kick it into gear and get this last 10 pounds outta here!!  I will get a phone when I get down to 130.  This means launching back into the 5&1 program.  I have been at a stand still for the last few months and happily maintaining my weight.  But, I know I am capable of more, so with a new found motivation, tomorrow is a new day...and a new program. So world here I go.  I am nervous for some reason.  I think because for the last two months I have really enjoyed food again, and not really had to pay for it on the scale.  When I started the 5&1 for the first time I was desperate.  This time, I have a totally different kind of motivation. I am excited and I am ready!  

Wish me Luck!!

My New Favorite!

 

So I posted about perfecting the pudding the other day.  Well tonight I found what may be my new favorite!!  Pistachio!  Same recipe I posted the other day, but with Pistachio pudding mix. I also added a tbs. of white chocolate sugar free syrup!  Once again, I really think the Ninja blender helps so much with the texture.  I will most definitely be making this again very soon!!

Interesting Read

 

I started reading this book last night.  So very interesting.  Since I have now found a way to control my weight, I am really interested in finding ways to change my brain! I am fascinated by addiction and as before mentioned, I believe that I suffer from it.  I have already related to many subjects in this book and am so excited to see what more this little gem has in store for me!  I will keep you all posted.  

I Have FINALY Perfected the Pudding!

 

When I signed up for TSFL I received the vanilla pudding two months in a row.  I tried it once, hated it, tried it again with a different recipe, and again, hated it.  So, I was checking out another Medifast suggestion site and I saw that someone had posted a new vanilla idea.  I played around with it and UREEEEEKA!  I have a winner!  Part of this could be the AMAZING new blender my hubby bought me for Christmas...the NINJA!  Life changing really!  If you don't have one...GET ONE!

Blend together:

1/2-3/4 cup water...more water, thinner consistency

6-7 cubes of ice

1-2 tsp. Sugar Free Jell-o Pudding Mix...any flavor you like

1 packet Vanilla Pudding mix

Blend, blend, blend.  Blend this until it is smooth and creamy. 

I like to freeze it for a minute just to let the pudding set a bit more!  This method helps solve the texture issue I was having with the pudding, and helps with the lack of flavor issue as well! 
ENJOY!!

WOOOOHOOOOOO!!!!

 

So today...I entered uncharted territory!  I have NEVER EVER EVER been anywhere NEAR the 130's in my adult life.  I don't even think I was in the 130's ever in high school.  I am 139 pounds today!!  I feel like shouting it from the rooftops!! ONE HUNDRED THIRTY NINE POUNDS!!!  WAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Things I loved to eat today!

 

I know I haven't done a recipe post in a while.  I have kind of been stuck in a rut...until now!  For Christmas dinner I picked up one of these bad boys from Costco.  Pork loin...mmmmm. I cut it in half and made the other half today.  I have prepared it two different ways now and both have been amazing.  I am a firm believer in paying top dollar for quality meats now, I have never tasted anything so delectable! 

Rosemary and herb crusted pork loin

Mix together about 1/4 cup olive oil, and about 2 tsp. of any rosemary based herb blend.  I used a pampered chef blend.  It has rosemary, thyme and garlic.  Then I added a bit of coarse sea salt and let it all infuse for about 10 mins.

 Pour infused oil into a hot frying pan and braise each side of the loin until golden brown and a crust has formed. 

Place loin in roasting pan with the bones facing up. 

Cook for 15 mins at 425 then reduce heat to 350 and roast for 20mins per pound.  Take out of oven and let meat rest for 15 mins before carving.

Onion and Herb Crusted Pork Loin

Follow all the same steps as above only substituting the rosemary for Mrs. Dash Onion & Herb.  Add sea salt and onion flakes to the oil. 

ENJOY!!

I served my 5 ounces of pork with asparagus and cucumbers.  Delish!!

ZUMBA!!!

 

So today, after the hopelessness of last night, I woke up, got myself back on the 5 & 1 plan, and drug my funky butt to a Zumba class at my gym.  I was super nervous about being the new girl in a class.  To my surprise, I did well, enjoyed the heck out of it, and sweated my ace off!  This was so much fun, and a fantastic work out!! 
 

I got back on the plan today, I feel like crap and am detoxing hard core! I am proud to say that I stayed on plan 100% today!  I even went out to dinner tonight and stayed on plan! Baby steps right?!?!?  I stepped on the scale today and I have only put on 5 pounds.  I was truly expecting more.  So here is the new goal.  Loose the 5 I gained over the holidays, and then loose 5 more.  I think with the new Zumba class and my new found commitment to the plan, this should be a breeze!! 

With that being said, I am off to make myself some amazing soft serve! Good night, and good luck!

Relapse

 

I started this blog as a way to journal, vent, and be brutally, painfully honest not only with myself, but with those of you who may be reading it. So as hard as this post is for me to write, and for as long as I have been avoiding writing it, I must. 

 I have been in a state of denial for the last two months.  I have slipped back in that frame of mind where I forget what I have eaten or I justify what I have eaten.  One of my biggest struggles has always been holidays and social events.  If I have one bite, I can't stop myself, I have 100.  It all started at Thanksgiving.  I started feeling depressed about my miscarriage and I felt like I was justified in eating whatever I wanted when I felt depressed.  And, before I knew it, I was in relapse. This last few days I have decided to be honest with myself.  It has been tough.  I still can't bring myself to get on the scale.  I just am not sure I can deal with the consequences just yet.  The thought of seeing my sins on the scale makes me feel a bit ill.  

I had one of my favorite clients in the other day. I have blogged about her before.  I have done her hair for almost 6 years and just about every time I do her hair we talk about diet, weight, food, clothes, etc.  We relate on so many levels in the diet and weight loss arena.  I feel like we are kindred spirits.  Typically our conversations are pretty light-hearted, with a bit of seriousness here and there.  But this time was different. Both of us were not in the best of moods and our conversation quickly became about addiction.  I know I have an addiction, I have been pretty aware of that.  However, I don't want to be treated like an addict, and for some reason I have decided that the same rules do not apply to me.  

I found this definition online and I felt my face get hot.

 

The state of being addicted; devotion; inclination; A habit or practice that damages, jeopardizes or shortens one's life but when ceased causes trauma; A pathological relationship to mood altering experience that has life damaging consequences

The phrase, damages, jeopardizes, or shortens ones life.  WOW, that is tough to hear.  I have let my food addiction damage my life and the lives of those around me for far too long.  This last two months in particular.  The other part of that definition that struck a chord with me was, A pathological relationship to mood altering experiences.  Food does that for me...for a moment.  I feel good when I am eating.  But the second I swallow, the shame sets in.  Once the shame sets in, watch out.  The people around me are the ones who pay for it. I hunt for food the same way a junkie searches for a hit.  I think because I have had the chance to recently be lifted out of the fog, I was able to catch myself a lot quicker this time.  I have tasted what healthy is like.  I know what it feels like to have control and feel victory. So WHY do I sabotage?  I have no idea.  I have never drank or smoked or done drugs...but I know the pain of addiction.  I know what process the brain goes through when justifying a return to your old habits.  I know what the shame of relapse feels like.  I know the sting of self defeat.  My client and I were asking each other, do we have to give up unhealthy food forever the same way an alcoholic gives up drinking forever?  Is it the same?  Right now, for me, yes.  I can't cheat just once.  Not now.  I just don't know if I have to tools yet to live a life of balance.  

If I am babbling, feel free to stop reading now.  I just have to get this out for my own sake, so sorry, check back soon for more uplifting posts!

Usually when I blog I have overcome something, and I blog about it to share with others my victory.  Sometimes, I am in the middle of something, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I still feel positive about it.  Right now, I am in a place I have never been before.  Utterly terrified, and completely...hopeless.  Facing a life of this battle terrifies me.  Even at my heaviest weight I always hoped that someday I would overcome my weight battle.  Now, with TSFL I know how to overcome the fat....but I am left with the addiction, and addiction I have no idea how to overcome.  They say once an addict always an addict.  So what does that mean for me? Do I live with this forever? Will I ever overcome this and learn to have a lifelong healthy relationship with food?  I really, truly, have no idea.

Tough Week

 

This picture is kind of what I have been feeling like doing this week.  I joined the gym and so i have been trying so hard to stay on the program even though I really just want to eat and eat and eat.  As I always have done in the past, I chalk the cravings up to lack of control or I find some way to blame myself and turn the anger inward.  Until today.  I had a revelation.  I had a miscarriage at 4 months pregnant this summer and my due date is about 2 weeks away.  I have been extra emotional about it and after months of not crying over the issue, i have been crying myself to sleep and tearing up at the grocery store while passing the baby section and wanting to hold my 3 year old like a baby and smell his hair.  I really truly thought that I would be pregnant again by now and that my "due date" would be a non issue. Thus, I have not prepared myself for all of these emotions.  All of this has been happening and i have been suppressing it all. The moment I feel sad, i wipe the tears and push the pain away. Today, I even began to feel physically ill.  So, it hadn't really occurred to me that I was eating my feelings.  I find myself back in the old habit of standing at the pantry waiting for something to speak to me.  Waiting for that one food that is going to make me numb.  It took me an hour to make my dinner tonight because i knew I didn't want "lean and green" but I couldn't decide how "bad" to be.  What could I eat that will make me satisfied??  I settled on eggs and toast with a bit of melty cheese...not a huge sin, but not the best choice.   Comfort food I guess.

Part of making changes is understanding why we make bad choices in the first place.  I remember once on the Oprah show she said that she always thought she was fat because she liked food and not because she had some underlying issues.  It wasn't until she was truly honest with herself the she realized her eating was a direct result of her horrible childhood.  I still don't really understand why food is such a drug for me.  I know i use it when I am stressed or sad.  I still have not had any light bulb moments from my past decoding the mystery of my food addiction, but I have learned through TSFL how to recognize my weaknesses as they happen.  I understand why this last week has been so hard.  Now, the trick is, how do I find comfort without eating?  Do I allow myself to medicate with food?  I have always felt entitled in the past when i am sad to medicate however i want.  I stand in front of the pantry or the fridge and the two people that exist in my head battle over the choice to make. THE BEAST returns and I feel like a person in a movie with an angel on one shoulder and the food devil on the other.  

One of life's greatest blessings is that tomorrow is always another day, and we always have the chance to start anew and make better choices.  With a new week approaching, I feel confident that I can gain control and cope better.  Tears may come and feelings may be sad, but that is ok.  I have a lot of people who love me and most importantly, I have prayer, and the comfort that comes with knowing there is a plan, and that The Lord is aware of me.  As tired as I am of people trying to make me feel better by telling me it just wasn't time, or you will have a baby when the time is right...I know they are right.  i know all those things.  That doesn't mean it has to be easy.  And that doesn't mean I lack faith for struggling with it.  I am so thankful for what I do have, and truly I feel like this last 5 months has changed my life forever.  The Lord has given me this time to get healthy and I am so thankful for that.

I've Joined Up!!

 

After much contemplation and more pain in my knee, I made a big decision today.  I joined a gym.  I am actually pretty excited about this new adventure.  I have been a member at many many gyms, but have never been a member at a gym when I wasn't trying to loose a ton of weight.  I am kind of excited to see how quickly my body will change since I am only 7 pounds away from my goal weight.  It will be so different to actually SEE muscles!!  I will keep you all posted on how things go!  I am going to try Zumba for the first time!!  Wish me luck!

Back on The Wagon

 

i have a little bit different philosophy when it comes to weight loss and the holidays.  I believe that if you live your life in a way that is healthy 95% of the time, it is okay to have a good time eating what you enjoy during holiday celebrations.  A lot of diet and nutrition specialists will tell you to still govern yourself, and go in with a game plan.  I on the other hand say this.  Just enjoy it, be accountable, and know that come Monday, you will be back on the wagon.  Does this mean go crazy?  NO.  Does this mean eat everything in site and then repent for it later...NO.  This means, celebrate, enjoy, don't be a slave to the scale.  You may gain a pound or two, but, it the big picture, that is not a big deal.  You can loose those few pounds by the end of the following week doing what we know we should.  I for one am DONE punishing myself for enjoying food.  I don't eat like that but a few times a year, and darn it, I think we earn it every now and again. 
 

If you are anything like me, you will be so sick of eating by the end of the weekend, you will be ready for some lean meat and green veggies!  

So, now the challenge is to prepare yourself for the next round of holidays.  BE 100% BETWEEN NOW AND THEN!!!  YOU CAN DO IT.  Do yourself a favor and follow whatever plan you are on 100% for the next four weeks so you don't have to end the holiday season 10 pounds up!  I feel like if I can end this season 5 pounds down from where I was last week, I will call it a victory.  If you are at your goal weight, make it a goal to end the season at that same weight.  IT CAN BE DONE! 

The Results Are In!

A picture can say a thousand words right?  As I look at these pictures, more than a thousand words come to mind.  Thousands upon thousands of words!  I am not done with this journey yet, but I have made incredible strides and I can't help but be emotional when I look at these pictures.  I don't even remember that sad looking girl 48 pounds ago.  I feel like part of her has died and a new happier girl has been born to take her place.  i still have days where she creeps in, but I am so thankful that I have learned how to be happier, and healthier! 

Total Weight Loss So Far

48 pounds~

Cheating

 

When I started TSFL I made myself a 90 day goal. I promised myself that I wouldn't cheat ONCE during that 90 days.  And I didn't.  I lost 33 pounds in 90 days and started to feel better than I have ever felt in my whole life.  Once that 90 days was up, I decided just to stay on the program but give myself a few cheat days here and there.  It is crazy how that tiny little inch I gave myself can become a mile.  During the 90 days, I was so restricted, and had such a clear goal.  Now that I have reached that goal, and am kind of in limbo, it is harder to be so strict.  I don't really need to loose too much more weight, and to be honest my focus is on trying for another baby, so I am having a hard time figuring out a motive to not cheat.  Right now, I am trying to stay as strict as I can when I am at home, or work, but I gotta tell you, when I go to my in-laws house that is full of tempting junk food, it is really tough.  I did cheat a bit last night, and I regret it.  I want to give myself leeway now and again, but at this point in my journey, I am trying to learn how to have balance. And somehow, this is harder than the restriction. 

Purging

 

Many women are guilty of this...we keep an array of clothing in our closet ranging from our smallest size up to our "fat clothes".  We have ALL done this.  We keep our "skinny clothes" as a "goal", and we keep our "fat clothes" just in case. Why?  The other night, I was watching "Ruby" and she was having such a hard time getting rid of her dresses she wore when she weighed 715 pounds.  I have never owned clothing that big, but I have been holding on to a closet FULL of clothing I can't wear anymore.  I guess part of me still doesn't believe that I can maintain this weight.  Maybe another part of me worries that if I don't, I will have nothing to wear.  But, the other morning, I was laying in bed wide awake in the wee early hours, and I jumped out of bed and began purging.  I ended up with two garbage bags full to donate, 2 plastic totes full to consign, and some stuff I just threw out.  On one hand it felt good to see all of it gone.  On the other hand I felt sad giving up some of my favorite clothes and it felt weird looking at my empty closet afterward.  It also felt very symbolic.  A lot of the clothes I had were purchased during dark times in my life when I felt so out of control. Looking at my clothes I had some very vivid memories of the doom I felt while trying on the clothes and looking in the dressing room mirror.  Some of the clothes I own were purchased to hide my body.  I also had a few outfits that I had purchased as my "goal" outfits and before I could ever wear them they were too big.  It was a bitter sweet experience, one I needed to do.  The weirdest thing to think about is that soon, I may be purging the clothing I am wearing right now!  That will be an exciting day!

So with all of this purging, it made me think.  What else in my life can I get rid of that is weighing me down? Again, I was watching "Ruby" and her therapist encouraged her to change 5 things in her life. Exchange 5 bad or negative things for 5 positive or healthy alternatives.  So, in the spirit of purging, here is what I came up with for my own life.

1. Get rid of Diet Soda/drink more water

2. Cut back on TV/ read more/move more

3. Stop staying up so late/get more sleep

4. Less time on computer/ Pray more, Study gospel more

5. get rid of selfish time wasting behaviors/spend more time with my son

So, the purge has begun.  I am taking baby steps towards shedding the "old" me. The me who was weighed down in so many ways.  This journey is far from over. I have so much to learn and so much room to grow. I am so thankful for the light that TSFL has helped shine into my dark places.For the first time ever, I feel like I am getting my head straight!

New Favorites!!

 

I have had 13 of these bottles of syrup in my pantry since I started the program.  Some of them I use more often than others.  The peanut butter syrup was one I didn't use until today!  I mixed it in my Vanilla shake and it was AMAZING!!  Better yet, I mixed it in my Banana Cream shake, and it was to die for!!

Another fun thing I did the other day was I mixed a table spoon of Pumpkin Pie syrup in my original pancake and then added pumpkin pie spice to it.  It was a yuuuummmy pancake!

I loooove the MF soft serves...I eat one every night, well the other night I added Toasted Marshmallow to the Peanut Butter soft serve, and it was so naughty!!! I loved it.  

Just thought I would share some of my recent creations with you!!

Welcome Back!

 

Turns out that loosing weight, eating right, getting more sleep and exercising is a great way to get your brain back!  Who knew!!  Tonight I was running and I realized...I was smiling.  Smiling?? Who smiles while they are running besides a person who just got away with something??  I got to thinking...it has been a long time since I have felt depressed, confused, or lethargic.  For the first time ever I feel just good!  Things seem doable, my life doesn't seem so bleak.  Do I still have bad days? Sure I do, but lately they seem few and far between. I feel like I have my brain back.

I DID IT!!

 

Well, I did it!  I reached my 3 month goal!!!  I set a few goals when I started TSFL and today I accomplished one of them!  I reached 145 pounds.  That means I have lost 33 pounds since August 9th and 43 pounds since this time last year.  Being 145 means a lot to me.  It means that I weigh less than I did when I graduated high school, it means I weigh less than I have in my entire adult life, it means that I was able to achieve a goal I have never been able to achieve in my entire life.  Another goal I thought I may never be able to achieve is that I have been 100% committed to my goal and have not cheated once!  I also have been running again...all in all things are good for me right now!  I am so grateful for the changes that TSFL has helped make in my life.  I have been able to do things I never EVER thought possible.  

Pictures to come soon!  

My new goal...135 pounds! 

Gravity

 

WARNING: If you are a man, or you are easily embarrassed, do NOT read this post! hahahaaa!!

Ok, I warned you! So if you are reading, this, hopefully, you won't judge me too harshly.  

I have always been...ahem...well, busty.  No matter how much I weighed, my upper body changed very little.  Even after having a baby, I still felt like the girls looked pretty good.  However, this last couple of weeks, I have noticed the ladies beginning to loose some of their flair.  Yesterday, it was all brought front and center when I went to get dressed and my bra was too big.  I knew they were getting smaller because when I started the program I was wearing a DD due to how big I had gotten everywhere else.  But now, my C's, which is the average size I have been since high school are TOO BIG.  I will be honest...I FREAKED.  

My husband got kind of annoyed at me because I was making such a big deal about it.  He said, "You know April, it is always something with you isn't it? Now you are mad because you are skinny but your boobs shrunk?"  That made me think. 

It is kind of a trade off isn't it? I can be overweight and have large full breasts, or I can be thin and loose volume and begin to feel the effects of gravity.  Which do I prefer? Hmmm, I think I will take the latter.  So as part of my journey, I have hit an unexpected bump in the road.  I never thought that there would be something to be embarrassed about on my new thinner body.  I was not prepared to feel self conscious about ANYTHING.  So, just as I had to struggle to love myself as a larger person,  now I have to learn to love what is now my new reality.  I will have to work on that one.  I did make my husband promise me that if I ever got down to 125 that he would let me get some "work" done!!  Until then, I have some work to do on myself!

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